Emotional Numbness: Seeking Help for Lack of Feelings and Thoughts

If I have no "feelings" or "thoughts," what should I do?

I have been unable to articulate my feelings, only knowing that I lack "feelings" and "thoughts." As a result, when I visit doctors, they are unable to provide appropriate treatment.
They simply prescribe medication for mental health issues, but my problems remain unresolved; even after taking the medication, I still do not experience feelings or thoughts.
When I say I have no "feelings," I mean an internal lack of emotional response.
I have sensory perceptions like touch, taste, and smell, but I cannot empathize or feel sadness when I see distressing news on television.
This makes me feel like I lack compassion.
However, I do not want to be devoid of feelings.
I do not understand why I cannot feel empathetic sadness, which makes me feel selfish and uncaring.
When friends share their happy or sad experiences, I cannot relate to their feelings, which makes me feel inadequate as a friend.
I do not know why I lack feelings, but I do not want to.
Regarding "thoughts," typically, when people encounter two conflicting opinions, they reflect on their own perspective to make a favorable judgment.
However, when I face conflicting opinions, I cannot generate my own thoughts.
I find myself stuck in the middle without a personal viewpoint to evaluate the conflicting opinions.
This means I lack my own thoughts or opinions to assess the conflict between the two viewpoints.

In terms of "feelings," I can understand the meanings of terms, but I cannot grasp the emotional significance behind them.
For example, I know that going out to have fun is supposed to be enjoyable; I can comprehend that going out is fun, but I cannot understand what it means to feel "happy" about going out.
I have made an effort to describe some specific issues I am facing, and I hope the doctor can help me understand what is wrong with me and how I can develop thoughts and feelings.
Thank you, doctor.

Xiao Tian, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2011/04/05

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello! Your writing is actually very good, and your descriptive ability is quite impressive.
I was a bit surprised to hear you mention that you have no thoughts or feelings! Conditions such as autism, schizophrenia, severe depression, or being under significant stress can potentially lead to such issues.
The solution depends on the underlying problem.
In psychiatry, some issues are related to brain function with fewer psychological factors involved.
In such cases, medication is the appropriate approach, and its effects are usually quick and significant.
Physiological problems need physiological solutions; for example, if you're hungry, the only way to feel full is to eat—talking to someone won't satisfy your hunger.
If your doctor has recommended medication, it is likely based on their clinical judgment.
If you have any doubts, you should consult them further.
Wishing you all the best, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2011/04/05

More Info

Your experience of emotional numbness and the inability to connect with your feelings or thoughts is a complex issue that can be distressing and isolating. It’s important to understand that what you are describing may be linked to several psychological phenomena, including but not limited to dissociation, depression, or even a form of emotional detachment that can arise from prolonged stress or trauma.

Understanding Emotional Numbness
Emotional numbness is often a defense mechanism that the mind employs in response to overwhelming stress or trauma. When faced with intense emotional pain, the brain may shut down feelings as a way to protect itself. This can lead to a lack of empathy or the inability to connect with others' emotions, as you described. It’s not that you lack the capacity for empathy or feelings; rather, your emotional responses may be suppressed or dulled due to past experiences or current stressors.

The Role of Medication
You mentioned that medication prescribed by your doctor has not alleviated your symptoms. While medications like antidepressants or anxiolytics can help some individuals, they are not a one-size-fits-all solution. Emotional numbness often requires more than just pharmacological intervention; it may necessitate a comprehensive approach that includes therapy.

The Importance of Therapy
Psychotherapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be beneficial in addressing emotional numbness. These therapeutic approaches can help you explore the underlying causes of your emotional detachment, develop coping strategies, and gradually reconnect with your feelings. A therapist can guide you through the process of understanding your emotions and thoughts, helping you articulate your feelings in a safe environment.

Exploring Your Feelings
1. Journaling: Writing about your daily experiences, thoughts, and feelings can help you start to identify and articulate emotions that you may not be consciously aware of. It can also serve as a tool for reflection.

2. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Practices such as mindfulness meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment. Grounding techniques can also help you reconnect with your body and senses, which may facilitate emotional awareness.

3. Engaging in Activities: Sometimes, engaging in activities that you once enjoyed can help rekindle feelings. Whether it’s art, music, or spending time in nature, these experiences can evoke emotions and help you reconnect with your sense of joy or sadness.

4. Building Empathy: Try to engage in conversations with friends or family about their feelings. Ask open-ended questions and practice active listening. This can help you understand their emotions and may gradually help you connect with your own.

Seeking Professional Help
If you haven’t already, consider seeking a mental health professional who specializes in emotional regulation or trauma. They can provide you with tailored strategies and support to help you navigate your feelings and thoughts. It’s essential to communicate openly with your therapist about your experiences of numbness and your desire to reconnect with your emotions.

Conclusion
Your struggle with emotional numbness and the lack of personal thoughts is a significant concern, but it is also a challenge that can be addressed with the right support and strategies. Remember, it’s okay to seek help, and taking the first step towards therapy can be a powerful move towards understanding and reconnecting with your emotional self. You are not alone in this journey, and with time and effort, it is possible to regain a sense of emotional richness and connection.

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