Feeling Exhausted: Navigating Mental Health Struggles and Isolation

I'm feeling really exhausted..?

After my follow-up appointment, I still feel very tired when I get home.
I dread going home after work, fearing that something might happen.
I'm afraid my nephew will move out to work in another city.
I know this is a good opportunity for him, but I just don’t want him to leave.
I fear that the factory will undergo restructuring, and I don’t know if I will still have a job.
I’m also afraid that my boss will touch me.
Every night when I get home, I feel a deep pain in my heart and a tightness in my chest.
I don’t know if I will ever heal.
I’ve become reluctant to take my medication; I only take it when I feel chest tightness or heart pain.
I really want to try not taking my medication for a week and then see how I feel when I take it again.
I often think about ending my life because I live in a home where I have no family to talk to, that kind of loneliness, that kind of crying that I can only do alone.
I know that if I end my life, my family might find relief because I feel like I’m a burden to them.
I’m so tired of holding on.
I wonder if I can keep going.
I talked to an online friend, and he said that if I wanted to commit suicide, he would go with me.
Can I leave with him? Can I take the children with me? I’m sorry, doctor.
I’m sorry to you.
It’s not that I don’t believe in you; it’s that I don’t feel good enough.
You were very thorough during my appointment, but I feel exhausted and overwhelmed.
I’m sorry, doctor; I haven’t been a cooperative patient.
I haven’t been good.
I’m sorry, doctor; I feel like I’ve let you down with your encouragement.
Thank you, doctor, for your support and treatment.
I don’t know what path I should take anymore.

MM, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2012/11/21

Dr. Lin Junyuan reply Psychiatry

It is recommended that you understand that asking questions at Taiwanese hospitals is only a preliminary discussion and not a substitute for outpatient consultations.
Since you have recently experienced changes in your mood, it is advisable to schedule a follow-up appointment as soon as possible.
Additionally, it is best to continue with your medication as prescribed, rather than selecting specific medications or choosing when to take them.

Reply Date: 2012/11/21

More Info

I'm truly sorry to hear about the overwhelming feelings you're experiencing. It sounds like you're going through a very challenging time, and it's important to acknowledge that these feelings are valid and deserve attention.
From what you've described, it seems like you're dealing with a combination of anxiety, fear, and possibly depression. The fear of change, such as your nephew moving out or potential changes at work, can create a sense of instability that is hard to cope with. It's common for people to feel anxious about changes in their environment, especially when they feel a lack of control over those changes. This anxiety can manifest physically, leading to symptoms like chest tightness and heart pain, which can further exacerbate your feelings of exhaustion and hopelessness.

It's also concerning to hear that you're feeling isolated and that your emotional pain is leading you to contemplate self-harm. Please know that you are not alone in feeling this way, and there are people who care and want to help you through this. The thoughts of being a burden to your family can be incredibly heavy, but it's crucial to remember that your life has value, and your well-being matters. Your family may not see you as a burden; they may be more concerned about your happiness and health than you realize.

You mentioned feeling reluctant to take your medication and wanting to experiment with not taking it for a week. While it's understandable to want to explore how you feel without medication, I strongly advise against making any changes to your medication regimen without consulting your doctor first. Stopping medication suddenly can lead to withdrawal symptoms or a worsening of your condition. Instead, consider discussing your feelings about the medication with your healthcare provider. They can help you understand the benefits and potential side effects and may be able to adjust your treatment plan to better suit your needs.

In addition to medication, therapy can be a powerful tool for managing your feelings. A mental health professional can provide you with coping strategies to deal with anxiety and depression, help you process your fears about change, and support you in finding ways to connect with others, even when it feels difficult. It might also be helpful to explore support groups, either in-person or online, where you can connect with others who are experiencing similar feelings.

Your mention of wanting to end your life is particularly concerning. If you ever feel that you might act on these thoughts, please reach out for immediate help. Contact a crisis hotline, a trusted friend, or a mental health professional. You deserve support, and there are people who can help you navigate through this pain.

Lastly, it's important to practice self-compassion. You are not defined by your struggles, and it's okay to seek help. You are taking a brave step by reaching out and expressing your feelings, and that is commendable. Healing is a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. Please consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can guide you through this process and help you find a path toward feeling better. You are worthy of care and support, and there is hope for a brighter future.

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