the Struggles of Mental Health: A Personal Journey

I don't know if I'm imagining things or if there's a problem?

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way.
It's really important that you talk to someone who can help you, such as a mental health professional.

MM, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/05/27

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, the experience of hospitalization can indeed be unpleasant for many people and may even leave some emotional scars.
It seems too easy to say to forget about it, but those events are truly in the past.
You are doing relatively well now, and the memories will not interfere with your current reality unless you continuously give them energy—meaning when you dream about or think of them, allowing those emotions to linger in the present for too long.
I also have a past of mistakes or embarrassing moments; those memories occasionally resurface, causing discomfort, chest tightness, and palpitations.
However, those people and events have long since changed, and who in the world still cares? Only we ourselves do! Once we let go of it, the matter is truly resolved!
In modern times, individual rights are continuously being elevated and valued.
It seems that suicide and self-harm have become a form of power in facing life choices.
We should not compare the topic of suicide with others; I simply believe that suicide or self-harm does not truly resolve the issues a person is facing at that moment.
Even if nothing is done, time will change things; sometimes, situations that seem unsolvable now can suddenly feel light and manageable after a while! Additionally, we do not know what happens after death, and I remain cautious about that.
The universe is vast, and just because we do not know or have not seen something does not mean it does not exist.
Instead of hoping for an unknown death as a form of relief, it might be better to live well now, as the risks are lower.

As for my comment about being "crazy," it can also be interpreted as I do not know who can claim to be completely mentally normal.
You should not focus too much on your shortcomings.
Everyone has imperfections; I say this to encourage you to try to discover the good parts of yourself and not to emphasize your imperfections too much.
Doctors also have their own issues; not only do we live well, but we can also help others help you, as long as my abnormalities differ from yours! Asking questions here is not necessarily a better method than seeing a doctor; it can be less efficient.
However, do not take follow-up visits too seriously; chatting with your doctor about the rules, whether you truly express your heartfelt thoughts or not, can still be beneficial.
I sense that you are collecting medications, but there are actually many ways to relieve stress that do not require that!
Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2015/05/27

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time, and I want to acknowledge the pain and confusion you are experiencing. Your feelings of distress, fear, and hopelessness are valid, and it’s important to address them seriously. Mental health struggles can be overwhelming, especially when they are compounded by past trauma and current stressors.

From what you’ve shared, it seems that you are dealing with a complex interplay of emotions and experiences, including trauma from past hospitalizations, feelings of being trapped, and anxiety about your current living situation and responsibilities. The memories of being mistreated in a medical setting can be haunting, and it’s understandable that they would resurface, especially during times of stress or when you feel vulnerable.

The fact that you are experiencing vivid memories and flashbacks to those traumatic events indicates that you may be dealing with symptoms related to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD can manifest in various ways, including intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and emotional distress when reminded of the trauma. It’s crucial to seek professional help to address these symptoms, as they can significantly impact your daily life and mental well-being.

You mentioned feelings of self-harm and suicidal thoughts, which are serious and require immediate attention. It’s important to understand that you are not alone in this struggle, and there are people who care and want to help you. The fact that you are reaching out for support, even in this format, is a positive step. I encourage you to consider speaking with a mental health professional who can provide you with the support and guidance you need. Therapy can be a safe space to explore your feelings, process your trauma, and develop coping strategies.

Regarding your feelings about the differences in how people perceive mental health struggles, it’s essential to recognize that everyone’s journey is unique. The stigma surrounding mental health can lead to feelings of isolation and confusion, especially when comparing oneself to others. It’s important to focus on your own healing journey and to understand that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, I urge you to reach out to a crisis hotline or a mental health professional. They can provide immediate support and help you navigate through this challenging time. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and you deserve to find peace and healing.

In summary, your experiences and feelings are significant, and it’s crucial to address them with the help of a professional. You are not alone, and there are resources available to support you through this journey. Please take care of yourself and prioritize your mental health.

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