Social Anxiety: Overcoming Fear in New Social Situations

Social Anxiety Disorder

When I enter a new class, if I have a friend from the beginning, I can interact with the whole class and make some friends.
However, if I don't have anyone, I tend to be very quiet, and when others talk to me, my mind goes blank, and I can only respond with "uh-huh." Before I know it, I become very anxious and find it hard to speak.
I can naturally talk to one or two people, but as soon as I notice others looking at me, I feel scared and only engage in one-on-one conversations or answer questions.
It's similar to the issues described in the links provided.
I can manage to buy things, but I feel hesitant to speak with store clerks.
If I need to see a doctor or get medication, how much would it typically cost? I'm worried it might be too expensive.

Yuehan, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/08/06

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, you can try to identify your strengths, or ask family or close friends to share their thoughts with you, which can help you have a more balanced view of yourself and not feel overly insecure.
Additionally, try to convince yourself that there are all kinds of people in this world; while some may be difficult to get along with, there are also many friendly individuals.
There are those with whom we may not resonate, but there are also those who genuinely appreciate us.
Regularly thinking this way may help reduce anxiety and fear when facing strangers.
The vast majority of people are actually not very interested in us; rather than critiquing us, they are more concerned with their own matters.
When we shop, the clerks or store owners are primarily focused on their work and making money; they do not care who buys from them, whether someone is round or flat, beautiful or unattractive, as it only represents business or income.
You can practice adopting a more indifferent attitude, which you may have previously cared about, when shopping and see how it goes; I suspect the clerks' reactions will be almost the same.
Additionally, try to make friends who are more easygoing and let their attitudes and thoughts influence you subtly.
If you need medical attention, clinics are the most affordable, costing only a couple of hundred dollars, while larger hospitals tend to be more expensive.
Do not be overly reliant on large hospitals; many clinic doctors are well-known physicians from major hospitals and are highly skilled.
Wishing you all the best.
Sincerely, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2015/08/06

More Info

Social anxiety is a common experience, especially in new social situations, and it can be quite challenging to navigate. Your feelings of fear and discomfort when entering a new class or interacting with unfamiliar people are not uncommon. Many individuals experience similar symptoms, such as blanking out during conversations or feeling overwhelmed by the presence of others. Understanding and addressing these feelings is crucial for your mental well-being.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that social anxiety can stem from various factors, including personality traits, past experiences, and environmental influences. For instance, if you find it easier to engage with a couple of friends but struggle in larger groups, this may indicate a reliance on familiar social support to feel comfortable. When that support is absent, feelings of anxiety can intensify, leading to a cycle of avoidance and increased fear.

One effective approach to overcoming social anxiety is gradual exposure. This means slowly introducing yourself to social situations that make you anxious, starting with less intimidating scenarios. For example, if you find it easier to talk to one or two people, try to engage in small group settings where you can practice interacting with others without feeling overwhelmed. Over time, as you build confidence in these smaller interactions, you can gradually increase the size of the groups you engage with.

Another helpful strategy is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety. For instance, if you often think, "Everyone is judging me," CBT can help you reframe that thought to something more realistic, such as, "Most people are focused on themselves and not paying as much attention to me as I think." This shift in perspective can significantly reduce anxiety in social situations.

Additionally, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help manage anxiety symptoms. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness meditation can help ground you in the present moment and reduce feelings of panic when faced with social interactions.

Regarding your concern about seeking medical help, it’s understandable to worry about costs. The price of therapy or medication can vary widely depending on your location, the provider, and whether you have insurance. In the U.S., therapy sessions can range from $50 to $250 per session without insurance, while medications may cost anywhere from $10 to $200 per month, depending on the type and whether you have insurance coverage. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income, and some community health centers provide services at lower costs. It’s worth exploring these options to find affordable care.

If you feel that your anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life, seeking help from a mental health professional is a wise decision. They can provide a thorough assessment and recommend appropriate treatment options, which may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both.

In summary, overcoming social anxiety is a gradual process that involves understanding your feelings, practicing exposure to social situations, and possibly seeking professional help. Remember, you are not alone in this experience, and with the right strategies and support, you can learn to manage your anxiety and engage more comfortably in social settings.

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