Anxiety and Social Fear: A College Student's Struggle - Psychiatry

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Anxiety, social phobia?


Hello doctor, I am a college student.
I have a few close friends in class, but I am not very comfortable interacting with others.
Sometimes, when someone asks me a question, even though I can calmly respond, I feel extremely nervous every time.
When a teacher praises me in front of the whole class, I actually feel uncomfortable.
Even among my group of friends, I often don't know how to start a conversation or join in, which makes me feel quite uneasy.
However, I can speak confidently in front of strangers, and I find it easy to chat with older people in my work-study environment.
Is there something wrong with me?
Additionally, in terms of academic performance, I rank among the top in my class, and those who know me often praise me as a strong woman.
Yet, whenever I have tasks to complete, such as assignments or reports, I become very anxious.
Until I submit or finish these tasks, they constantly occupy my mind.
Moreover, I dream every night, often about being late or not performing well in situations related to daily life.
I wake up exhausted, unable to get up when my alarm goes off.
Doctor, am I unwell?

Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/03/03

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry


Hello: It seems that your pace of life is quite tense, and you have high expectations of yourself.
While it may not reach the level of illness, it is indeed causing you distress.
I suggest that you slow down and look for articles related to anxiety disorders, social phobia, and similar topics to learn about coping strategies.
If necessary, you can also consult with a mental health professional at a hospital (visiting a hospital does not necessarily mean you are seeking treatment; it can be viewed as a consultation resource), which should help improve your situation.

Reply Date: 2016/03/03

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of anxiety, particularly in social situations, which is quite common among college students. Your feelings of discomfort when interacting with peers, even those you consider friends, and your heightened anxiety when receiving attention or praise are indicative of social anxiety disorder (SAD). This condition can manifest in various ways, including fear of judgment, embarrassment, or feeling inadequate in social settings.

Social anxiety often leads to avoidance behaviors, where individuals may withdraw from social interactions to prevent feelings of discomfort. This can create a cycle where the lack of social engagement reinforces feelings of isolation and inadequacy, further exacerbating anxiety. It's important to recognize that these feelings are not uncommon, and many people experience similar challenges during their college years, a time often filled with new social dynamics and pressures.

Interestingly, you mentioned feeling more comfortable speaking with strangers or in work settings, which suggests that your anxiety may be context-dependent. This is not unusual; many individuals find it easier to engage in conversations when they feel less personally invested or when the stakes seem lower. However, this can also lead to confusion about one's social skills and self-worth, as you might feel competent in some situations but struggle in others.

Your academic performance and the pressure you place on yourself to excel can also contribute to your anxiety. The constant worry about deadlines and the fear of not meeting expectations can create a mental environment that is exhausting. The recurring dreams about being late or failing to perform well are manifestations of this anxiety, indicating that it permeates your subconscious mind even during sleep.

To address these concerns, it may be beneficial to consider the following steps:
1. Seek Professional Help: Consulting with a mental health professional can provide you with tailored strategies to manage your anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety, as it helps individuals challenge and reframe negative thought patterns.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engaging in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can help reduce anxiety levels and improve your overall emotional regulation. These techniques can be particularly useful before social interactions or when facing stressful situations.

3. Gradual Exposure: Gradually exposing yourself to social situations can help desensitize your anxiety. Start with smaller, less intimidating interactions and gradually work your way up to larger groups or more challenging scenarios.

4. Build a Support Network: While you have a few close friends, consider expanding your social circle. Engaging in clubs or activities that interest you can provide opportunities to meet new people in a more relaxed setting.

5. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Recognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and it's okay to feel anxious. Acknowledging your feelings without judgment can help reduce their intensity.

6. Limit Comparisons: Avoid comparing yourself to others, especially in academic or social contexts. Focus on your own progress and achievements rather than how you perceive others are doing.

7. Sleep Hygiene: Since you mentioned feeling tired, ensure you are practicing good sleep hygiene. Establish a regular sleep schedule, create a calming bedtime routine, and limit screen time before bed to improve your sleep quality.

In conclusion, while it may feel overwhelming at times, you are not alone in your struggles with anxiety and social interactions. Seeking help and implementing coping strategies can significantly improve your experience and help you navigate college life more comfortably. Remember, it's okay to ask for support, and taking steps toward understanding and managing your anxiety is a sign of strength.

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