Social Marginalization and Mental Health in Relationships

Interpersonal relationships, social marginalization?

It may seem like a silly question, but I want to seek answers regarding emotional matters.
From the past until now, I have never had a romantic relationship with the opposite sex and have difficulty talking to women.
Throughout my student years, military service, and now in the workforce, my chances of meeting women have been very low.
Those I do meet are either married or in committed relationships, leaving me with almost no opportunities.
I have remained single for a long time, and I am genuinely worried about not being able to find a wife in the future.
The thought of growing old and being sick without anyone to care for me makes me feel very depressed.
Additionally, some people say that men who have never had a girlfriend must have issues with their interpersonal relationships, which can lead to social marginalization and affect their work.
I often feel discriminated against by couples, and modern women seem difficult to pursue, which adds to my anxiety about how I will live my life in the future.
Sometimes, I genuinely contemplate ending my life.

Wenzi, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/04/16

Dr. Zhong Mingxun reply Psychiatry

From the perspective of life experience, marriage is a significant milestone, but it does not mean that everyone necessarily needs to have this experience.
Not being able to find a spouse does not guarantee that one will be uncared for in old age; conversely, being married does not ensure that one will receive care.
Therefore, having sufficient financial resources is more important.
Some say that men who have never had a girlfriend must have issues with interpersonal relationships and may be marginalized in society, which can also affect their employment, often facing discrimination from couples.
These are others' opinions; what matters more is whether you accept yourself.
If you do not accept yourself, even if you are married, you may still face numerous interpersonal issues.
I suspect that you lack confidence in yourself, which is why you care too much about others' opinions.
When pursuing women, you may feel burdened.
However, you might not be as inadequate as you think.
When you encounter a girl you like, try something new; you don’t have to pursue her immediately.
Gather the courage to approach her, and you may find unexpected results.
In times of vulnerability, one might have thoughts of ending their life, but such avoidance only exacerbates your troubles.
When you are in a good state, being brave and trying new things can help you lead a different life.

Reply Date: 2016/04/16

More Info

Understanding social marginalization and its impact on mental health, particularly in the context of relationships, is a complex issue that intertwines psychological factors, societal expectations, and individual experiences. Your concerns about not having engaged in romantic relationships and the fear of being marginalized are valid and reflect a broader societal narrative that often equates relationship status with personal worth and social acceptance.

Firstly, it’s essential to recognize that feelings of loneliness and social isolation can significantly impact mental health. Research has shown that individuals who experience prolonged loneliness are at a higher risk for various mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. The fear of not finding a partner or being perceived as socially inadequate can exacerbate these feelings, leading to a cycle of despair and withdrawal. This is particularly relevant for men, who may feel societal pressure to be in relationships or to conform to traditional masculine norms that discourage vulnerability and emotional expression.

Your experience of feeling marginalized due to your relationship status is not uncommon. Many individuals face societal stigma regarding their single status, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The belief that not having had a romantic relationship indicates a problem with one’s social skills or personal worth is a harmful stereotype. It’s crucial to challenge these societal narratives and recognize that everyone’s journey is unique. Many people find fulfillment and happiness outside of traditional romantic relationships, and it’s perfectly valid to prioritize personal growth, friendships, and self-discovery.

Moreover, the anxiety surrounding dating and social interactions can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you approach social situations with the belief that you will be rejected or judged, it can hinder your ability to connect with others. Building social skills takes time and practice, and it’s important to start small. Engaging in social activities that interest you, joining clubs, or participating in community events can provide opportunities to meet new people in a low-pressure environment. Additionally, seeking support from friends or professionals can help you navigate these feelings and develop healthier coping strategies.

Mental health is also influenced by physical health. You mentioned concerns about aging and health issues, which can further complicate feelings of anxiety and depression. It’s important to address these concerns holistically. Regular physical activity, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can improve both physical and mental well-being. If you are struggling with chronic health issues, consider seeking medical advice to manage these conditions effectively.

If thoughts of self-harm or suicide arise, it’s crucial to seek immediate help. Talking to a mental health professional can provide you with the support and tools needed to cope with these feelings. Therapy can be particularly beneficial in addressing underlying issues, improving self-esteem, and developing healthier relationship patterns.

In conclusion, while societal factors can contribute to feelings of marginalization, it’s essential to focus on personal growth and self-acceptance. Building social connections takes time, and it’s okay to seek help along the way. Remember, your worth is not defined by your relationship status, and there are many paths to fulfillment and happiness in life. Embrace your journey, seek support when needed, and take small steps towards building the connections you desire.

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