Struggling with Binge Eating and Anxiety: A College Student's Journey

I'm not sure if I have binge eating disorder or anxiety disorder?

Recently, I felt that going to college was meaningless, thinking that what I learn every day may not be applicable to my future job.
However, I am only a freshman, and this feeling was particularly strong on Monday.
I became reluctant to attend classes.
I commute to Taipei for school every day, which takes about an hour.
I considered renting a place in Taipei, but I worry about my family.
I'm concerned that my grandparents would be alone if I lived in Taipei, and I wouldn't be able to visit them often.
My grandfather seems to have delusions, suspecting my grandmother of infidelity, which is not true, and it eventually led to their divorce.
He hasn't seen a doctor yet, and sometimes thinking about it makes me very sad.

Additionally, my parents' relationship has its own issues; they were recently on the verge of divorce.
Previously, I only heard my mother's side of the story, but now that I am older, my father shares his thoughts with me, which reminds me of the times my mother treated me poorly.
Although there was no domestic violence, it makes me understand why she acted that way towards me.
I also used to think my grandparents treated my father well, but when it comes to divorce, they spoke harshly to him.
My grandparents are very affectionate towards me, but hearing them speak negatively about my father makes me feel very agitated and irritable.
I sometimes burst into tears and binge eat to the point where I can't move, consuming several bags of junk food.
Even when I feel full, I continue eating and then feel guilty afterward.
My body doesn't feel well because I used to be overweight, and I worked hard to lose weight, managing to shed about five to six kilograms.
However, in the past couple of months, I've been prone to binge eating, and I'm worried about gaining weight again, but I can't control myself from eating.
Recently, academic pressure has also caused me insomnia; I can't sleep at night, and I haven't had my period for five months.
The last time I had it was due to an injection.
Sometimes, I really want to hide away or just be alone in silence.

Kelly, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/05/23

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

It seems that your life is indeed filled with a lot of stress, leading to significant anxiety.
Your parents' divorce during your childhood is not your fault, and worrying about family or not wanting to go to school are also common sources of life stress.
It is important to talk to a professional about these pressures.
Have you considered speaking with a counselor at your school's counseling center? The counselors at university counseling centers are qualified and licensed professionals, and this service is included in your tuition fees.
It is essential to make good use of these resources.
If, after receiving psychological treatment, the counselor still recommends seeking medical attention, then you should visit a nearby mental health facility, as eating disorders require a thorough assessment for proper diagnosis.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Reply Date: 2016/05/23

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of stress and emotional turmoil as a college student, which is not uncommon. The feelings of anxiety, binge eating, and family concerns you described can be overwhelming, especially during such a transitional period in your life. Let's break down some of the key issues you're facing and explore potential ways to address them.

First, it's important to recognize that your feelings of meaninglessness regarding your college education are not unusual, especially for first-year students. Many students grapple with the question of how their studies will translate into future job opportunities. This existential questioning can lead to feelings of anxiety and disinterest in school. It might be helpful to remind yourself that the first year of college is often about exploration and finding your path, rather than immediately preparing for a specific career.

Your concerns about your family, particularly regarding your grandparents and the dynamics between your parents, are also valid. Family issues can create a heavy emotional burden, and it's understandable that you feel torn between your responsibilities to your family and your own needs as a student. It’s crucial to find a balance that allows you to care for your family while also prioritizing your mental health.

The binge eating you described is often a coping mechanism for dealing with stress and emotional pain. When faced with overwhelming feelings, many individuals turn to food for comfort, which can lead to a cycle of guilt and shame afterward. This cycle can be particularly challenging, especially if you have previously worked hard to lose weight. It’s essential to approach this issue with compassion for yourself. Instead of focusing solely on weight, consider addressing the emotional triggers that lead to binge eating. This might involve exploring healthier coping strategies, such as engaging in physical activity, practicing mindfulness, or seeking support from friends or a counselor.

Your mention of insomnia and the absence of your menstrual cycle for several months are also concerning. Stress can have profound effects on both mental and physical health, and it's essential to address these symptoms. Sleep is crucial for emotional regulation, and a lack of it can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and depression. If you haven’t already, consider discussing these physical symptoms with a healthcare provider, as they may be indicative of underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Given the complexity of your situation, it would be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional. Many universities offer counseling services that are included in your tuition, providing a safe space to discuss your feelings and develop coping strategies. A therapist can help you work through your anxiety, family issues, and eating behaviors in a supportive environment.

In addition to professional help, consider building a support network among your peers. Connecting with fellow students who may be experiencing similar feelings can help alleviate the sense of isolation. Engaging in campus activities or clubs that interest you can also provide a sense of community and purpose.

Lastly, practicing self-care is vital. This can include setting aside time for activities you enjoy, maintaining a balanced diet, and ensuring you get enough rest. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can also help reduce anxiety and improve your overall well-being.

In summary, your journey through college is a challenging one, filled with emotional ups and downs. Acknowledging your feelings, seeking professional support, and developing healthy coping mechanisms can significantly improve your mental health and overall quality of life. Remember, you are not alone in this experience, and there are resources available to help you navigate these challenges.

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