Struggling with Negative Thoughts: Inner Conflicts - Psychiatry

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Frequently negative?


No matter what I do, I always think of the negative aspects first, even when I see someone.
For example, I tend to focus on their negative traits, such as their appearance.
Every time I think negatively about someone, I internally wish I wouldn't think that way anymore.
It feels like there are two people inside me.

Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/07/21

Dr. Lin Niqi reply Psychiatry


Hello: Your response to the question is not clear enough.
We recommend that you schedule an appointment at our hospital for an evaluation.
Thank you!

Reply Date: 2016/07/21

More Info


Struggling with negative thoughts and inner conflicts is a common experience that many individuals face. It often manifests as a persistent cycle of negative thinking, where one’s mind automatically jumps to the worst-case scenarios or critical judgments about oneself and others. This internal dialogue can create a sense of dissonance, as you described, where it feels like there are two conflicting voices within you—one that harbors negative thoughts and another that wishes to reject or change those thoughts.

This phenomenon can be understood through the lens of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which posits that our thoughts significantly influence our emotions and behaviors. When you encounter someone and immediately think negatively about their appearance or character, it triggers a cascade of feelings—perhaps anxiety, discomfort, or even guilt for being judgmental. This is where the internal conflict arises; you may feel compelled to criticize or judge, yet simultaneously wish to be more accepting and understanding.

The first step in addressing these negative thoughts is to recognize and acknowledge them without judgment. It’s essential to understand that having negative thoughts does not define who you are. Everyone experiences negative thinking at times, but it’s how you respond to these thoughts that can make a difference. Here are some strategies that may help you manage and reduce the impact of negative thoughts:
1. Mindfulness and Acceptance: Practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts without getting entangled in them. When a negative thought arises, try to observe it as if it were a cloud passing by in the sky. Acknowledge its presence but do not let it dictate your feelings or actions. Acceptance means allowing yourself to have these thoughts without self-judgment.

2. Cognitive Restructuring: This technique involves challenging and reframing negative thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about someone, pause and ask yourself if there is evidence to support that thought. Is it a fact, or is it an assumption? Try to replace the negative thought with a more balanced or positive perspective. For example, instead of thinking, “That person looks unkempt,” you might reframe it to, “They may be having a tough day.”
3. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when you experience negative thoughts. Understand that everyone struggles with self-doubt and negative thinking. Practicing self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend in a similar situation.

4. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can be a powerful way to process and understand them. You might find it helpful to keep a journal where you can express your feelings and thoughts freely. Over time, you may notice patterns in your thinking that you can address more consciously.

5. Seek Professional Help: If negative thoughts are overwhelming and significantly impacting your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional. Therapists can provide you with tools and strategies tailored to your specific needs and help you navigate the complexities of your inner conflicts.

6. Engage in Positive Activities: Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that uplift your mood. This could include spending time with supportive friends, pursuing hobbies, or practicing gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life.

In conclusion, struggling with negative thoughts and inner conflicts is a challenging yet common experience. By employing mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, self-compassion, journaling, and seeking professional help, you can begin to navigate these thoughts more effectively. Remember, it’s a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Embracing the complexity of your thoughts and feelings is part of the human experience, and with patience and practice, you can cultivate a more positive and accepting mindset.

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