Fear of society
Hello Doctor, thank you for taking the time to address my concerns.
I have had a strict upbringing, which has made me quite honest in my personality.
Whether at work or in general interactions, I tend to speak "truthfully" (though I always use gentle language).
In my previous job, I applied for a marketing planning position, but the company consistently assigned me to sales roles (I emphasized during the interview that due to my specialized training in advertising and marketing abroad, I was not interested in business development).
Despite my efforts to express my concerns, they were not accepted, and I received comments like "How can someone so young refuse to be trained?" and "Don't think that just because you have a high degree, you can find a good job; other companies are the same." I understand that in today’s society, refusing a company's arrangements can lead to negative labeling, so I felt I had no choice but to accept it.
I endured the sales work, gritting my teeth to get through it.
Although my performance was not as effective as that of seasoned salespeople, I did my best but still faced a lot of criticism.
I really don't understand; was it truly my fault? Why wasn't I allowed to work in my area of expertise? I often see new hires being assigned to their professional fields, and I feel very envious.
Due to the arrival of new employees, I later requested to be reassigned back to the marketing planning position, but the company always politely declined with reasons like "just endure a little longer." Furthermore, after another colleague left, my supervisor assigned me many of that colleague's tasks, in addition to increasing miscellaneous duties to support the supervisor.
This has been really hard for me to accept; I feel like the supervisors are setting traps for me.
Every time I see the new employees working in their respective roles, I feel immense pain.
I also hate myself for having to endure everything, feeling weak.
Additionally, I often feel a tightness in my chest, as if I can't catch my breath.
Although I have now left the job and the suffocating feeling has somewhat improved, I still feel like many people are out to get me.
I would like to ask the doctor if my situation requires medical attention.
Could you please give me some advice? Thank you.
Wúzhù de shàngbānzú, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/08/09
Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: Each generation has its own work culture norms, and perhaps your supervisor is applying the work culture of their time to new employees, which makes it difficult for you to adapt.
Looking at past experiences positively, consider them as opportunities for learning and growth, and draw lessons from them so that your previous hardships and efforts are not in vain.
Even with this mindset, it is natural to have emotions; unpleasant past experiences may still affect our mood to some extent, and this is something we must accept, understanding that our current feelings are influenced by past events.
It is advisable to incorporate some positive activities into your current life, such as exercising, self-improvement, or seeking a job that better suits you, to dilute negative memories with positive life experiences.
However, if symptoms persist and do not improve, it is recommended to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.
Reply Date: 2016/08/09
More Info
Navigating workplace challenges, especially when dealing with social anxiety and self-doubt, can be incredibly taxing on both mental and emotional health. Your experience reflects a common struggle many individuals face, particularly in environments that do not align with their skills or aspirations.
Firstly, it’s important to recognize that your feelings of frustration and anxiety are valid. You mentioned having a strict upbringing, which may have contributed to your conscientious nature and desire to please others. This can often lead to a fear of conflict or rejection, making it difficult to assert your needs and boundaries in the workplace. It’s not uncommon for individuals in such situations to feel trapped, especially when their roles do not match their qualifications or interests.
Your experience in being assigned to a sales role despite your background in marketing and advertising is a significant source of stress. It’s understandable to feel resentment when your professional skills are not utilized, especially when you see others thriving in roles that align with their expertise. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, as you may start to question your abilities and worth in the workplace. The pressure to conform to the expectations of your superiors, coupled with the fear of being labeled negatively, can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and self-doubt.
The physical symptoms you described, such as the sensation of tightness in your chest, are often manifestations of anxiety. This can be a response to the stress of feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities that you feel unprepared for. It’s crucial to address these symptoms, as they can affect your overall well-being and quality of life.
Given that you have already left the job, it’s a positive step towards reclaiming your mental health. However, the lingering feelings of being targeted or undermined by colleagues can indicate that you may still be processing the emotional fallout from your previous experiences. It’s essential to seek support during this time. Consulting with a mental health professional can provide you with the tools to navigate your feelings of anxiety and self-doubt effectively. Therapy can help you develop coping strategies, improve your self-esteem, and learn how to assert your needs in a professional context.
In addition to professional help, consider engaging in self-care practices that promote relaxation and well-being. Activities such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, or even regular physical exercise can significantly reduce anxiety levels and improve your mood. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family who understand your struggles can also provide a much-needed emotional outlet.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to prioritize your mental health over job titles or societal expectations. Finding a role that aligns with your skills and passions will not only enhance your job satisfaction but also contribute positively to your mental health. As you move forward, focus on what you want from your career and seek opportunities that allow you to thrive in your area of expertise.
In conclusion, your feelings of anxiety and frustration are understandable given your circumstances. Seeking professional help, engaging in self-care, and focusing on your career aspirations can help you navigate this challenging period. Remember, it’s okay to advocate for yourself and seek out environments where you can truly excel.
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