Struggling with Worthlessness: A 23-Year-Old's Battle Against Depression

Feeling like you have no value in life and experiencing daily low moods?

I'm constantly thinking about suicide every day—jumping off a building, hanging myself, burning charcoal, inhaling exhaust fumes.
I feel like no matter what I do, there's no hope for me.
Why doesn't anyone like me? I'm 23 years old and have never had a girlfriend.
Although I pretend to have fun chatting at gatherings with my friends, deep down, I feel hopeless about my life.
Every day, I think about how to die, and I feel like every woman keeps their distance from me.
I think I must have poor qualities since no one is interested in me, and I feel terrible for not being able to get a girlfriend.
I feel like I'm not worth living in this world.
Every night is hard for me; I feel weak all day with no motivation to do anything.
There's a heavy feeling in my chest that affects my whole body.
Even at work, I often think about jumping off the building.
I'm so frustrated with myself for being too honest, not good at talking, and unable to make girls laugh.
I can't attract women in groups; I secretly watch some girls but can never get close to them.
I feel like I'm really worthless, with an average height and build.
I think if I were to get a real gun in the military, I might end my life.
Some girls seem to interact with me more actively, but when I try to reach out to them, they keep their distance.
At 23, my relationships with the opposite sex are stuck in this cycle.
I really want to die...
but I also desperately hope someone will love me.
It's such a contradiction.

A Nan, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/08/08

Dr. Zhang Fangrong reply Psychiatry

Dear Sir/Madam,
Based on the process you described, I can sense your desire to find a girlfriend.
However, I also noticed that you are very concerned about this matter, which can lead to feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and even thoughts of suicide.
I would suggest that you take the opportunity to talk about your feelings with close family members or male friends.
You might also consider asking others how they interact with the opposite sex.

At the same time, I recommend that you invest some of your thoughts and time in yourself, such as engaging in leisure activities, entertainment, sports, or furthering your education.
Investing in yourself is absolutely necessary and offers the best return.
Moreover, preparing your physical and mental state and enhancing your personal qualities may increase your chances of forming connections with the opposite sex.
Wishing you mental and physical well-being.
Sincerely,
Dr.
Fang-Rong Chang, Psychiatry

Reply Date: 2017/08/08

More Info

I'm truly sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's really important that you talk to someone who can help you, such as a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life.

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