Overcoming Social Anxiety: Tips for Building Confidence and Friendships

Q: Overcoming Social Anxiety: Tips for Building Confidence and Friendships

Hello Meo： It is not easy to change a person's personality and habits overnight, so I suggest being patient and making gradual adjustments. <br>When interacting with others, focus on them and strive to understand the message they are trying to convey, as this will allow for more

Social anxiety disorder

I feel like I have social anxiety, as I found that almost every symptom I researched online applies to me.
I recently transferred to a new class, and I'm very afraid of making new friends.
On the first day of school, I was so nervous that I had stomach pains.
I'm very introverted and usually spend my breaks alone, although I do talk a little.
I've always been the type of person who overthinks; if others are whispering, I assume they are talking about me.
I get scared when someone looks at me, and I worry a lot.
I'm afraid that others dislike me, so I try to please everyone, thinking that whatever they say is about me, and I often assume it's negative.
I know not everyone views me this way, but I can't help but overthink and exaggerate the situation.
I feel like others are constantly watching me.
I don't really like to talk, but I can chat endlessly with familiar people.
In middle school, I experienced being marginalized, and since then, my personality has changed, leaving a significant impact on me and making me more distrustful of friends.
I would like to ask a doctor what I should do.

Meo, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/02/13

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello Meo: It is not easy to change a person's personality and habits overnight, so I suggest being patient and making gradual adjustments.
When interacting with others, focus on them and strive to understand the message they are trying to convey, as this will allow for more natural responses.
Try to be positive and friendly towards others, and even more so towards yourself.
If you feel nervous, just accept that it’s part of who you are; many people who experience anxiety still manage to make good friends.
Let go of past negative memories; each day can be a new beginning for adjustments and changes.
If you continue to feel troubled, seeking professional help may be beneficial.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2019/02/13

More Info

Overcoming social anxiety and building confidence in friendships can be a challenging journey, especially for those who have experienced feelings of isolation or bullying in the past. Your situation resonates with many individuals who struggle with similar issues, and it's important to recognize that you are not alone in this experience. Here are some strategies that may help you navigate your social anxiety and foster healthier relationships.

Understanding Social Anxiety
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged or scrutinized by others. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as isolating oneself or feeling uncomfortable in group settings. It’s crucial to understand that these feelings are valid and that many people experience them. The first step in overcoming social anxiety is to acknowledge your feelings without judgment.

Building Confidence
1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your strengths and interests. What are you passionate about? Engaging in activities that you enjoy can help you meet like-minded individuals and provide a natural context for social interaction.

2. Set Small Goals: Start with manageable social goals. For instance, aim to initiate a brief conversation with a classmate or participate in a group discussion. Gradually increase the complexity of your social interactions as you become more comfortable.

3. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help reduce anxiety symptoms. When you feel anxious, take a moment to focus on your breath, allowing yourself to calm down before engaging in social situations.

4. Challenge Negative Thoughts: It’s common for individuals with social anxiety to have distorted thoughts about how others perceive them. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if there is evidence to support them. Often, you will find that your fears are exaggerated.

5. Seek Feedback: If you have trusted friends or family members, consider asking them for feedback on your social interactions. They can provide reassurance and help you see things from a different perspective.

Building Friendships
1. Join Clubs or Groups: Participating in extracurricular activities or clubs can provide a structured environment for meeting new people. Shared interests can serve as a natural conversation starter.

2. Volunteer: Volunteering for a cause you care about can help you connect with others while contributing to the community. This shared purpose can ease the pressure of social interactions.

3. Be Open and Approachable: While it may feel uncomfortable, try to maintain open body language and a friendly demeanor. Simple gestures, like smiling or making eye contact, can make you appear more approachable.

4. Practice Active Listening: Show genuine interest in others by asking questions and actively listening to their responses. This can help shift the focus away from your anxiety and foster deeper connections.

5. Be Patient with Yourself: Building friendships takes time, and it’s essential to be patient with yourself throughout this process. Celebrate small victories and understand that setbacks are a natural part of growth.

Seeking Professional Help
If your social anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide you with tailored strategies and support. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety, as it helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns.

Conclusion
Overcoming social anxiety and building confidence in friendships is a gradual process that requires patience and self-compassion. By taking small steps, challenging negative thoughts, and seeking support, you can create a more fulfilling social life. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking that step can be a significant part of your journey toward healing and connection.

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