How to encourage a friend who may be suffering from depression to seek medical help?
Hello, a colleague and friend of mine started exhibiting significant behavioral changes about four months ago.
He was originally humorous and considerate, but suddenly became tense all day, irritable, and short-tempered in conversations, responding with impatience.
He no longer participates in casual chats with coworkers and stays at his desk, almost skipping lunch to sleep instead.
He forcefully shuts the door when he hears talking.
Occasionally, he speaks in an aggressive manner, and his responses on social media have decreased from less frequent to completely non-existent.
He has started struggling to articulate more complex tasks (he can form sentences but struggles with their meaning).
I have gathered information about depression and expressed my observations about his changes, as well as my concern that he might be affected by depression.
However, he responded with anger, saying I was overthinking and questioning why he can't be tired or why he needs to interact with others.
Is his change normal? If not, how can I encourage him to seek help?
Huai Shan, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/05/28
Dr. Li Zhengfeng reply Psychiatry
Hello: First, thank you for your letter.
According to what you mentioned, your friend seems to be struggling with mental health issues, but it is unclear whether she is experiencing depression.
Currently, she is feeling down and under a lot of stress.
The Ministry of Health and Welfare has established a free hotline at 1925 that offers confidential psychological counseling services.
This may help address her concerns, and if necessary, she can be referred to a professional institution.
Wishing her a speedy recovery.
Reply Date: 2020/05/28
More Info
It’s commendable that you are concerned about your friend’s well-being, especially given the significant changes you’ve observed in his behavior over the past four months. Your friend’s shift from being humorous and caring to displaying irritability, withdrawal, and aggressive responses could indeed be indicative of depression or another mental health issue. While it’s important to recognize that everyone goes through tough times and may exhibit changes in behavior, the extent and nature of your friend’s changes suggest that he may be struggling with something more serious.
Understanding the Signs
Depression can manifest in various ways, including changes in mood, behavior, and social interactions. The symptoms you described—irritability, withdrawal from social interactions, changes in eating habits, and difficulty concentrating—are common indicators of depression. It’s also not unusual for individuals experiencing depression to react defensively when confronted about their behavior, as they may not fully recognize or accept their condition.
Encouraging Help-Seeking Behavior
1. Approach with Empathy: When discussing your concerns with your friend, it’s crucial to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Instead of framing it as a confrontation, express your feelings about the changes you’ve noticed and how they affect you. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed you seem really stressed and withdrawn lately, and I’m worried about you. I care about you and want to help.”
2. Normalize Seeking Help: Many people feel stigma around mental health issues, which can prevent them from seeking help. You can normalize the idea of seeking help by sharing that many people experience similar feelings and that talking to a professional can be beneficial. You might mention, “I’ve heard that talking to someone can really help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to seek help; it doesn’t mean you’re weak.”
3. Provide Resources: Sometimes, individuals may not know where to turn for help. You can offer to help him find resources, such as a therapist or counselor, or suggest hotlines that provide support. You could say, “If you’re open to it, I can help you look for someone to talk to. It might be a good way to sort through what you’re feeling.”
4. Be Patient and Available: Change doesn’t happen overnight, and your friend may need time to process your concerns. Let him know you’re there for him, regardless of whether he decides to seek help immediately. Regular check-ins can show that you care and are willing to support him through this difficult time.
5. Encourage Small Steps: If he seems resistant to the idea of professional help, suggest smaller steps he might take, such as talking to a trusted friend or engaging in activities he once enjoyed. Sometimes, just getting out of the house or participating in a hobby can help improve mood.
6. Respect His Autonomy: Ultimately, the decision to seek help must come from him. If he continues to resist your suggestions, it’s essential to respect his autonomy while remaining supportive. You can express your willingness to help whenever he feels ready.
Conclusion
Your concern for your friend is a vital first step in helping him navigate this challenging time. While you can provide support and encouragement, remember that professional help is often necessary for individuals experiencing depression. It’s important to take care of your own mental health as well, as supporting someone with depression can be emotionally taxing. Encourage open communication, be patient, and continue to express your concern and support. Your friend is fortunate to have someone like you who cares about his well-being.
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