How to Support a Classmate with Mild Depression?

How to help patients with depression?

I have a classmate who has been sitting quietly in her seat after class, not laughing much, and often staring into space.
When friends gather to chat, she doesn't participate.
Last week, she went to the hospital for an examination and was diagnosed with mild depression.
How can we, as her friends, help her? What unusual behaviors or thoughts might she experience? However, I've heard that when she goes out on weekends or returns home (since we live on campus), she doesn't act this way.
It seems she has mentioned to her dad that she wants to transfer back to Yonghe to live at home.
Could her depression be caused by us?

Doufu, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/02/18

Dr. Chen Meizhu reply Psychiatry

1.
People with depression do not typically have strange thoughts or behaviors, so there is no need to be overly fearful.
They may experience low mood, pessimistic and negative thoughts, and exhibit passive and slow behaviors.
It is important to pay attention to whether they have suicidal thoughts or attempts and to spend time with them.
2.
What can you do to help a loved one facing depression? When a loved one is suffering from depression, you can help them improve.
However, it is crucial to understand that you cannot solely rely on your own efforts to help them overcome their illness.
Depression, like other medical conditions, requires professional medical care.
The best thing you can do for them is to encourage them to seek medical help.
Once a diagnosis is confirmed and treatment begins, you can provide unconditional emotional support and encouragement.
Additionally, maintaining balance in your own life is also important.
(1) Encourage your loved one to seek help.
You might suggest accompanying them to see a doctor, as depression can make individuals more passive, so having someone to encourage and accompany them is beneficial.
Reassure the patient that they will get better.
Remind them that treatment takes time to show effects.
Secondly, you can monitor whether the patient is taking their medication as prescribed by the doctor.
Third, keep an eye out for signs of improvement in the patient, as this can also serve as encouragement.
(2) Provide emotional support.
Your emotional support for the patient—caring for them, understanding them, being patient, and encouraging them—combined with a bit of light humor, can be very helpful.
Listen to them without making any judgments, and do not avoid discussing depression.
If your loved one expresses feelings of failure or hopelessness, you might feel compelled to convince them that those feelings are not real.
You may think about creating a list of their positive aspects, such as a happy family or a good living environment.
However, this approach is counterproductive; it may not uplift them and could instead make them feel worse and guilty.

People often instinctively want to encourage those who are feeling down, but this approach does not work for individuals with depression.
Avoid criticizing them for "whining" or suggesting they are being selfish.
Telling someone with depression "just stop feeling this way!" will not yield results, so do not blame or lecture them.
Instead, gently point out the reality of the situation without belittling their feelings.
Find ways to engage them in enjoyable activities, such as going for a walk on a nice day, watching a movie, or visiting a friend.
However, avoid overwhelming them with too many suggestions or pressuring them to participate in activities.
Excessive demands can increase their anxiety and feelings of frustration.
Helping them requires a delicate balance, which takes practice.

Many people mistakenly believe that a friend's illness is their fault and may assume they are responsible for it.
It is important to understand that your friend is ill, and it is not your fault, and this illness can improve.
Even if your roommate feels better after going home, it does not mean that her depression was caused by you.

Reply Date: 2006/02/18

More Info

Supporting a classmate with mild depression can be a delicate yet crucial task. It’s commendable that you and your friends are concerned about her well-being. Understanding depression, especially in its mild forms, is essential to providing the right support.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that your classmate’s behavior—such as sitting quietly, not laughing, or being withdrawn—can be symptoms of her depression. However, these behaviors are not necessarily “strange” or indicative of her character; they are manifestations of her mental health condition. People with depression often experience a range of emotions, including sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed. This can lead to social withdrawal, even among friends who care about them.

One of the most effective ways to support her is to encourage her to seek professional help. While friends can provide emotional support, depression is a medical condition that often requires treatment from mental health professionals. You might suggest that she talk to a counselor or therapist, and if she feels comfortable, offer to accompany her to her appointments. This can help alleviate some of the anxiety associated with seeking help.

In addition to encouraging professional help, emotional support from friends is invaluable. Here are some practical ways you can help:
1. Be Present: Sometimes, just being there for her can make a significant difference. Spend time with her, even if it’s just sitting in silence or doing a low-key activity together. Your presence can provide comfort.

2. Listen Without Judgment: If she chooses to talk about her feelings, listen actively and empathetically. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or trying to “fix” her problems. Instead, validate her feelings and let her know it’s okay to feel the way she does.

3. Avoid Minimizing Her Feelings: It’s important not to downplay her experiences by saying things like “just think positive” or “others have it worse.” Such comments can make her feel misunderstood and isolated. Instead, acknowledge her struggles and express your support.

4. Encourage Small Steps: If she seems open to it, gently encourage her to engage in activities that might lift her spirits, such as going for a walk, watching a movie, or participating in a hobby she enjoys. However, be careful not to pressure her; it’s essential to respect her pace.

5. Check-In Regularly: Regularly check in with her to see how she’s doing. A simple message or call can remind her that she’s not alone and that you care.

6. Educate Yourself: Understanding depression can help you provide better support. Learn about its symptoms, causes, and treatments. This knowledge can help you empathize with her situation and respond appropriately.

7. Maintain Your Balance: Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you’re also taking care of your mental health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and seek support if you need it.

Regarding your concern about whether her depression is caused by your group, it’s essential to understand that depression can stem from various factors, including biological, psychological, and environmental influences. It’s unlikely that your behavior as friends is the sole cause of her condition. Instead, it may be a combination of her personal experiences, stressors, and possibly her living situation.

Lastly, if you notice any signs of severe depression or suicidal thoughts, it’s crucial to take them seriously. Encourage her to seek immediate help from a mental health professional or contact a crisis hotline. Remember, while you can provide support, professional help is vital for her recovery.

In conclusion, supporting a friend with mild depression requires compassion, understanding, and patience. By being there for her, encouraging professional help, and fostering an open and non-judgmental environment, you can play a significant role in her journey toward healing.

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