There are many questions?
I have had poor interpersonal relationships since childhood, often getting into conflicts with others in various groups.
Recently, while working in a public office, I was reprimanded by my supervisor, which has affected my mood.
I’ve noticed that I often end up in conflicts when I talk to people.
What should I do?
K, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/06/27
Dr. Wang Yazhen reply Psychiatry
Hello K: It's a great start that you've noticed your condition! Since interpersonal interactions involve various situations, it's important to clarify and discuss them carefully.
I recommend that you consider psychological counseling or therapy to gain insight into yourself and identify the issues in your interpersonal interactions, which will help you know how to address them.
Best wishes to you!
Reply Date: 2020/06/27
More Info
Navigating interpersonal conflicts can be challenging, especially if you have a history of difficulties in relationships. It’s important to recognize that conflicts are a natural part of human interactions, and learning how to manage them effectively can lead to healthier relationships and improved emotional well-being. Here are some tips that may help you improve your interpersonal skills and reduce conflicts:
1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your interactions with others. Consider what triggers conflicts and how you respond in those situations. Understanding your own behavior and emotions can help you identify patterns that may contribute to misunderstandings.
2. Active Listening: Practice active listening when communicating with others. This means fully concentrating on what the other person is saying rather than planning your response while they are speaking. Show that you are engaged by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and summarizing what they have said to ensure understanding.
3. Stay Calm: In moments of conflict, try to remain calm and composed. Take deep breaths and give yourself a moment to think before responding. This can prevent escalation and allow for more rational discussions.
4. Use “I” Statements: When expressing your feelings or concerns, use “I” statements to communicate how you feel without blaming the other person. For example, instead of saying “You always interrupt me,” try saying “I feel frustrated when I’m interrupted during conversations.”
5. Seek Common Ground: Focus on finding common ground with the other person. Identify shared goals or interests that can help bridge differences. This approach can foster collaboration rather than competition.
6. Set Boundaries: It’s essential to establish personal boundaries in relationships. Communicate your limits clearly and respectfully, and be willing to respect the boundaries of others as well.
7. Practice Empathy: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Understanding their feelings and motivations can help you respond more compassionately and reduce the likelihood of conflict.
8. Choose Your Battles: Not every disagreement needs to be addressed. Sometimes, it’s better to let minor issues go rather than escalating them into conflicts. Assess the importance of the issue before deciding to engage.
9. Seek Feedback: If you find that conflicts persist, consider seeking feedback from trusted friends or colleagues. They may provide insights into your communication style and suggest areas for improvement.
10. Consider Professional Help: If interpersonal conflicts continue to affect your well-being, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide strategies tailored to your specific situation and help you develop better communication skills.
In the context of your work environment, it’s crucial to maintain professionalism, even when faced with criticism. If you feel that your interactions with your supervisor or colleagues are consistently negative, it may be beneficial to have an open conversation with them about how you can work together more effectively.
Remember, improving interpersonal relationships takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself as you practice these skills, and celebrate your progress along the way. Building better relationships can lead to a more fulfilling personal and professional life.
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