Am I Sick? Mental Health and Self-Worth Issues

Q: Am I Sick? Mental Health and Self-Worth Issues

Hello： Everyone has different personalities and pursuits. <br>Family reminders usually stem from concern and worry, and conversations among family members often lack embellishment but are mostly rooted in love. <br>If work is also not going well at this time, it is easy to feel f

Not sure if there is something wrong with the heart?

Hello, doctor: I am in my 30s, and unlike my siblings, I don't have a strong desire to earn money or start a family.
I feel that having enough money is sufficient for me, and I value my freedom over romantic relationships.
I am not pursuing a high-ranking position either; I only want to engage in activities that interest me, but I haven't had the opportunity.
Doing things I am not interested in causes me great distress, so I am reluctantly working in a job that is acceptable but offers lower pay, which is not the high-paying, prestigious position that everyone expects.
Because of this, I am looked down upon by my elders and relatives, who think I am lazy, incompetent, and lacking ambition.
They believe my job has no future and even question if I have a mental illness, calling me a slacker.
Additionally, I am introverted and do not make an effort to present myself well, which has led me to become the person in my family that is least worthy of pride, even considered a source of shame.
They frequently criticize me, which makes me feel as though I have no reason to exist and that I am of little value compared to others.
I have been trying to develop my skills in hopes of building my confidence, putting in a lot of effort, but I still struggle to gain recognition and increasingly feel powerless.
I feel completely worthless and have lost a sense of achievement, even developing a dislike for myself.
Coupled with the frightening way others look at me, I often feel sad and angry, and I sometimes have thoughts of self-harm.
Am I sick? Thank you for your response, doctor!

Nìmíng, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/08/27

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: Everyone has different personalities and pursuits.
Family reminders usually stem from concern and worry, and conversations among family members often lack embellishment but are mostly rooted in love.
If work is also not going well at this time, it is easy to feel frustrated or experience self-doubt.
The world is vast, and there are various possible paths in life; it might be helpful to reflect on whether there are other directions to consider.
If you continue to feel angry or have thoughts of self-harm, it is advisable to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2020/08/27

More Info

It's clear from your message that you're experiencing significant emotional distress and feelings of inadequacy, which can be incredibly overwhelming. First and foremost, I want to emphasize that you are not alone in feeling this way, and it's important to recognize that these feelings can be symptoms of underlying mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety.
Your struggle with self-worth and the pressure from family and societal expectations can lead to a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings. It's common for individuals who feel they don't meet societal or familial standards to internalize these criticisms, leading to a diminished sense of self-worth. This can manifest in various ways, including feelings of hopelessness, anger, and even thoughts of self-harm, as you've mentioned.
It's crucial to understand that your value is not determined by your job title, salary, or societal expectations. Many people find fulfillment and purpose in life through different avenues, and it's perfectly valid to prioritize your interests and passions over conventional success. However, the pressure you feel from your family and peers can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy, making it difficult to pursue what truly makes you happy.

The feelings of wanting to self-harm are particularly concerning. They often indicate that someone is in a state of emotional pain that feels unbearable. It's essential to address these feelings seriously. Self-harm can be a way to cope with emotional distress, but it doesn't resolve the underlying issues and can lead to further complications. If you find yourself in a crisis or feeling overwhelmed, please reach out to a mental health professional or a crisis hotline. They can provide immediate support and help you navigate these feelings.

Seeking professional help is a vital step. A therapist or counselor can help you explore these feelings of inadequacy, the impact of familial expectations, and develop healthier coping strategies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for instance, is effective in addressing negative thought patterns and can help you reframe how you view yourself and your achievements.
Additionally, it might be beneficial to engage in activities that foster self-compassion and self-acceptance. This could include journaling, mindfulness practices, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who appreciate you for who you are, rather than what you do, can also be incredibly beneficial.

It's also worth noting that your feelings of being "lazy" or "unmotivated" may stem from a deeper issue, such as depression, which can sap your energy and enthusiasm for activities, even those you once enjoyed. Understanding that these feelings are not a reflection of your character but rather symptoms of a mental health condition can be liberating.

In conclusion, while it’s understandable to question your mental health given your experiences, it’s essential to approach this with compassion for yourself. You are worthy of help and support, and there are resources available to assist you in navigating these feelings. Please consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide the guidance and support you need to work through these challenges and help you rediscover your sense of self-worth and purpose. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

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