Emotional Issues in Toddlers: Guidance for Parents - Pediatrics

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Emotional issues in young children?


Hello, Dr.
Hsiao.
My child is about to turn three years old.
Due to slow language development and occasional emotional dysregulation, I have scheduled a developmental assessment.
I would like to ask, at this age, most children can communicate most of the time, but occasionally when out or at school, if things don't go their way, they express themselves by screaming.
Does this count as an emotional disorder, or is it simply a result of poor expressive skills? In such situations, what guidance can parents provide? Would a "cooling off" approach be beneficial for the child's development?

Niming, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/11/03

Dr. Xiao Kaiwen reply Pediatrics


It may be a matter of emotional disturbance or poor expressive abilities, and I believe a professional evaluation by a pediatric neurologist and a child psychiatrist is necessary, as this is a complex assessment.
However, I would like to outline a few basic principles: First, uncontrolled crying in toddlers is a sign of immature brain development rather than a deliberate attempt to oppose parents; it is crucial not to resort to punishment or reprimands, but rather to handle the situation with encouragement.
Second, redirecting the child's attention to another activity or object can be helpful.
Third, parents should not ignore the child; instead, they should provide a sense of security and soothe their emotions, such as by giving a back massage, before engaging in communication.

Reply Date: 2020/11/03

More Info


Understanding emotional issues in toddlers, especially around the age of three, is crucial for parents as they navigate the complexities of early childhood development. At this stage, children are beginning to develop their language skills, but they may still struggle to express their feelings and needs effectively. This can lead to frustration, which often manifests as emotional outbursts, such as screaming or crying, particularly when they encounter situations that do not go their way.

From your description, it seems that your child is experiencing typical developmental challenges rather than a specific emotional disorder. Many toddlers exhibit emotional dysregulation, especially when they are unable to communicate their desires or frustrations verbally. This is a common occurrence and is often linked to their still-developing language skills. When children cannot articulate their feelings or needs, they may resort to more primal forms of expression, such as screaming, to get attention or to express their displeasure.

In terms of guidance for parents, here are several strategies that can help manage and support your child's emotional development:
1. Model Emotional Expression: Children learn by observing their parents. By openly expressing your own emotions in a healthy way, you can teach your child how to articulate their feelings. Use simple language to describe your emotions, such as "I feel sad when we can't go to the park," which can help them understand and label their own feelings.

2. Validate Their Feelings: When your child has an emotional outburst, acknowledge their feelings without judgment. You might say, "I see you're really upset. It's okay to feel that way." Validation helps children feel understood and can reduce the intensity of their emotions.

3. Teach Coping Strategies: Introduce simple coping mechanisms, such as taking deep breaths, counting to ten, or using a calm-down corner with comforting items (like a favorite toy or book). These strategies can help your child learn to manage their emotions more effectively.

4. Encourage Language Development: Since your child is experiencing language delays, engaging in activities that promote language skills can be beneficial. Reading together, singing songs, and playing interactive games can enhance their vocabulary and communication skills, making it easier for them to express their needs and feelings.

5. Set Clear Expectations: Establishing routines and clear expectations can provide a sense of security for your child. When they know what to expect, it can help reduce anxiety and emotional outbursts. For example, if you are going to a place where they might want something, prepare them in advance by discussing what will happen.

6. Use Positive Reinforcement: When your child communicates their feelings appropriately or uses words instead of screams, praise them for their efforts. Positive reinforcement encourages them to continue using language to express themselves.

7. Stay Calm During Outbursts: During a tantrum, it’s important to remain calm. Reacting with frustration can escalate the situation. Instead, try to stay composed and provide comfort once the initial outburst has passed.

8. Seek Professional Guidance: Since you have already scheduled a developmental assessment, this is a positive step. Professionals can provide tailored strategies and interventions based on your child's specific needs. They can also help determine if there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.

In conclusion, while occasional emotional outbursts are typical for toddlers, consistent patterns of extreme emotional dysregulation may warrant further evaluation. By implementing supportive strategies and fostering an environment where your child feels safe to express their emotions, you can significantly aid their emotional and language development. Remember, patience and understanding are key as your child navigates this critical stage of growth.

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