Soliloquy
Since the first year of junior high school, I have developed the habit of talking to myself.
My classmates have even reported to the teacher that I often engage in self-talk.
As a result, I have become very accustomed to being alone, talking and laughing by myself, and I find it difficult to engage in conversations with others.
Doctor, what should I do about this?
TI, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/11/26
Dr. Liao Dinglie reply Psychiatry
Hello, internet user: It is common for people to engage in self-talk while thinking, as it can help facilitate smoother thought processes.
However, individuals often desire social interactions and conversations with friends, especially during their younger years.
Your concern about self-talking being perceived as strange by classmates is valid, but you have also recognized your difficulties in engaging in conversations.
In fact, having a sufficient social network makes self-talk less of an issue! I encourage you to continue developing your habit of making friends.
By expressing your observations, feelings, and values to others, you can engage in deeper communication with friends and form meaningful connections that can benefit you for a lifetime.
If you feel you need assistance with interpersonal relationships, consider reaching out to family, school teachers, counseling services, or mental health professionals such as psychologists or psychiatrists for support.
Wishing you health and happiness! Dr.
Liao Ding-Lie
Reply Date: 2020/11/26
More Info
Coping with social interaction challenges, especially when one has developed habits like soliloquy or talking to oneself, can be a complex issue that intertwines with personality traits, social anxiety, and individual coping mechanisms. It’s important to recognize that many people experience varying degrees of social discomfort, and your situation is not uncommon. Here are some insights and strategies that may help you navigate these challenges.
Understanding Your Behavior
Talking to oneself can serve various purposes. It can be a way to process thoughts, rehearse conversations, or even provide comfort in solitude. However, if this behavior is leading to difficulties in engaging with others, it might be beneficial to explore why this has become a coping mechanism for you. Often, individuals who are more introverted or who have experienced social anxiety may find solace in their own company, leading to a preference for solitary activities over social interactions.
The Impact of Soliloquy on Social Skills
While self-talk can be a healthy way to express thoughts and feelings, it can also create a barrier to developing social skills. If you find yourself more comfortable conversing with yourself than with others, it may be a sign that you need to practice social interactions in a structured way. This doesn’t mean you need to change who you are, but rather enhance your ability to connect with others.
Strategies for Improvement
1. Gradual Exposure: Start by gradually increasing your social interactions. This could mean initiating small conversations with classmates or colleagues. You might begin with simple greetings or comments about shared experiences. The key is to start small and build your confidence over time.
2. Practice Active Listening: Engaging in conversations is not just about speaking; it’s also about listening. Practice active listening by focusing on what the other person is saying, asking follow-up questions, and showing genuine interest in their responses. This can help shift the focus away from your own anxiety and make interactions feel more natural.
3. Join Groups or Clubs: Participating in group activities that align with your interests can provide a comfortable environment for socializing. Shared interests can serve as a natural conversation starter and help you connect with others who have similar passions.
4. Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable social goals for yourself. For instance, aim to have one meaningful conversation each week. As you accomplish these goals, gradually increase the frequency or depth of your interactions.
5. Seek Professional Support: If you find that your social anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage anxiety, improve social skills, and address any underlying issues contributing to your discomfort.
6. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall emotional well-being. These techniques can also help you stay present during social interactions, making it easier to engage with others.
7. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you navigate these challenges. Understand that everyone has their own pace when it comes to socializing, and it’s okay to take your time. Celebrate small victories and recognize that progress may come in increments.
Conclusion
Coping with social interaction challenges, particularly when you have developed habits like soliloquy, requires patience and practice. By gradually exposing yourself to social situations, honing your listening skills, and seeking support when needed, you can enhance your ability to connect with others. Remember, it’s perfectly okay to be an introvert, and with time and effort, you can find a balance that allows you to enjoy both your own company and the company of others.
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