Finding Peaceful Sleep: Coping with Grief and Mental Health Challenges

Q: Finding Peaceful Sleep: Coping with Grief and Mental Health Challenges

Hello： Thank you for your hard work! Your relationship with this family member must be very close. <br>The passing of a loved one can be a heavy blow for most people, often leading to feelings of depression, sadness, and even emotions such as denial, regret, and anger. <br>This s

I can't sleep because I'm feeling restless?

Foods rich in tryptophan are generally not recommended.
If one does not want to rely on benzodiazepine medications, what are some alternative ways to improve sleep? My family member passed away in the oncology department on Christmas Eve.
Although it has been many years, I still feel very sad.
Seeing people smoke makes me very angry; why do smokers seem to be fine while non-smokers who don’t smoke or drink end up with squamous lung cancer? If it’s adenocarcinoma, which is more common in housewives, that’s one thing, but I still feel so angry and sad.
When both I and my family members were diagnosed with cancer, I didn’t take good care of them, and I didn’t have the chance to fulfill my filial duties.
How can I forgive myself for this? How can I forgive the past that has already happened? When will these painful feelings of sadness and frustration get better? When will my sleepless nights improve even a little? I thought I was an optimistic person, and I believed that not crying all the time meant I was okay.
How many years will it take to fully recover? When a family member passes away, can too much sadness turn into depression? But surely no one would be happy in such a situation, right?

Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/12/27

Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry

Hello: Thank you for your hard work! Your relationship with this family member must be very close.
The passing of a loved one can be a heavy blow for most people, often leading to feelings of depression, sadness, and even emotions such as denial, regret, and anger.
This situation can last from a few days to several weeks, or even months, and in some cases, it can extend to years.
If during this period you experience emotional distress that affects your appetite, sleep, concentration, physical strength, feelings of guilt, or even thoughts of self-harm, it is advisable to seek help from a psychiatrist.
A doctor can assist you in navigating through the shadows of grief.
At this stage, it may be difficult to rely solely on your own strength to overcome these feelings.
If you have concerns about medication, you can discuss them with your doctor to see if you can start with psychotherapy.
This can also help you face and accept the reality of your loved one's passing, allowing you to move forward in life.
Wishing you peace and joy.

Reply Date: 2020/12/27

More Info

Finding peaceful sleep amidst grief and mental health challenges can be a complex and deeply personal journey. The loss of a loved one, especially in a painful context such as cancer, can leave lasting emotional scars that affect various aspects of life, including sleep. It’s understandable that you are grappling with feelings of anger, guilt, and sadness, which can significantly impact your ability to rest peacefully at night.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that grief is a natural response to loss, and it can manifest in various ways, including emotional distress, anxiety, and sleep disturbances. The feelings of anger towards smokers or the unfairness of illness can be overwhelming, and it’s crucial to allow yourself to process these emotions rather than suppress them. Engaging in open conversations about your feelings, whether with friends, family, or a mental health professional, can be beneficial. Sometimes, just sharing your thoughts can lighten the emotional load.

In terms of coping strategies for better sleep, there are several approaches you can consider that do not involve benzodiazepines (BZD) or other medications. Here are some suggestions:
1. Establish a Sleep Routine: Consistency is key when it comes to sleep. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This helps regulate your body’s internal clock and can improve the quality of your sleep.

2. Create a Relaxing Bedtime Environment: Make your bedroom a sanctuary for sleep. Keep the room dark, quiet, and cool. Consider using blackout curtains, earplugs, or a white noise machine to block out disturbances.
3. Limit Screen Time Before Bed: The blue light emitted by phones, tablets, and computers can interfere with your ability to fall asleep. Try to avoid screens at least an hour before bedtime. Instead, engage in calming activities such as reading a book, practicing meditation, or taking a warm bath.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your mind and prepare your body for sleep. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through these practices.

5. Physical Activity: Regular physical activity can help reduce stress and anxiety, which may improve sleep quality. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days, but try to avoid vigorous workouts close to bedtime.

6. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings before bed can help clear your mind. You might find it helpful to express your grief, anger, and guilt on paper, which can provide a sense of release and clarity.

7. Seek Professional Help: If your grief and associated feelings are overwhelming, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your emotions and develop coping strategies tailored to your needs.

8. Nutrition: While you mentioned avoiding certain foods, maintaining a balanced diet can also influence your sleep. Foods rich in tryptophan (like turkey, nuts, and seeds) can promote sleepiness. Additionally, consider herbal teas like chamomile or valerian root, which are known for their calming effects.

As for the timeline of healing from grief, it’s essential to understand that everyone’s journey is unique. There is no set timeframe for when you will feel “better” or when the pain will subside. Grief can ebb and flow, and it’s normal to have good days and bad days. Allow yourself the grace to feel your emotions without judgment.

Lastly, it’s crucial to remember that experiencing prolonged sadness or feelings of hopelessness can be signs of depression. If you find that your grief is leading to persistent feelings of despair, it’s important to reach out for help. Mental health professionals can provide support and treatment options to help you navigate these challenging emotions.

In conclusion, while the path to finding peaceful sleep amidst grief may be fraught with challenges, implementing healthy sleep habits, seeking support, and allowing yourself to process your emotions can lead to gradual improvement. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to seek help along the way.

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