Overcoming Mental Struggles: Navigating Relationships and Self-Discovery

Decision

Hello Dr.
Tang,
I apologize for the disturbance! My interpersonal relationships are still very ordinary, and I don't know what to do.
This leads to my problem, which I find very painful!
1.
I am currently studying in Taipei, so I am seeing a doctor at Linkou Chang Gung Memorial Hospital.
Although it is my first consultation, the medication is not very effective, and I clearly understand the necessity of changing doctors.
I am suffering greatly from this condition! Studying requires much more effort and time than others, and sometimes I think about jumping off a building...
If it weren't for my parents and younger brother, I feel that death would be a relief.
2.
Last Sunday, I took the train "back" to Taipei and saw a girl on the train who seemed nice.
Although I currently have thoughts of wanting to engage sexually with the opposite sex, I am desperately trying to overcome this.
On the train, I only slightly brushed against her hand because I genuinely want to love someone properly, but things did not go as I hoped.
After we got off the train, I wrote her a note saying, "I am the guy sitting next to you; I have a good feeling about you.
Can we be friends?" and included my phone number.
I waited with anticipation, but she never called back!
Then, when I got to school, I felt very low.
I didn't eat dinner until after 6 PM.
I had been feeling unwell due to a cold, and later went to a noodle shop where I sometimes eat.
Because of my cold, I used more napkins than usual, and the owner seemed displeased, treating me like a pariah.
Initially, I spent 40 NT dollars, but she charged me an extra 5 NT dollars, claiming it was for the napkins I used.
I felt very upset and initially wanted to confront her, but then I decided it was better not to return to that shop.
The more I thought about it on my way back, the angrier I became.
I had originally thought I would settle in Taipei due to its competitiveness, but this incident changed my mind.
I want to become a blackjack dealer; my hatred is indescribable.
Although I wanted to be a doctor when I was younger, my academic performance and personality prevented me from achieving that.

I feel like I am enduring hardships for no reason! Lastly, I hope this message does not get posted on the Taiwan e-hospital website; please send it to my email instead.
Thank you.

Xiao Jie, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/10/20

Dr. Tang Xinbei reply Psychiatry

Dear Xiao Jie,
Your concerns seem quite complex.
You have high expectations for interpersonal relationships and are very sensitive; it appears that even minor setbacks can lead to emotional distress.
I recommend that you make time to regularly see a psychotherapist.
Through ongoing therapy, you can gain a better understanding of yourself, identify the sources of your distress, and work on adjusting and overcoming them.
Additionally, while there are no specific regulations on the Taiwan e-hospital platform, it is important to note that this is a public medical consultation website and not a free platform for personal psychological counseling or therapy.
Therefore, it is not appropriate to use it as such.
Regarding your request to send responses to your email, I will accommodate your request this time, but I kindly ask for your understanding that I will not be able to respond in this manner in the future.
Wishing you peace and joy!

Reply Date: 2003/10/20

More Info

Navigating mental struggles, particularly in the context of relationships and self-discovery, can be an incredibly challenging journey. Your experiences reflect a deep sense of pain and confusion, which is not uncommon for individuals grappling with mental health issues. It’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are valid and that seeking help is a courageous step.

Firstly, it seems you are experiencing significant distress related to your mental health, particularly in the context of your studies and interpersonal relationships. The pressure to perform academically can be overwhelming, especially when compounded by feelings of isolation or inadequacy. It’s crucial to remember that many students face similar challenges, and it’s okay to seek support. Finding a mental health professional who resonates with you is vital. If you feel that your current psychiatrist is not meeting your needs, it’s entirely appropriate to seek a second opinion or switch to a different provider. The therapeutic relationship is foundational to effective treatment, and feeling comfortable with your therapist can significantly impact your progress.

Your encounter with the girl on the train highlights a common struggle: the desire for connection juxtaposed with fear of rejection. It’s natural to want to form relationships, and it’s commendable that you took the initiative to reach out. However, it’s also important to recognize that not every attempt at connection will yield the desired outcome. Rejection can be painful, but it does not define your worth or your ability to connect with others in the future. It might be helpful to reframe these experiences as opportunities for growth rather than as definitive failures.

The incident at the noodle shop seems to have exacerbated your feelings of frustration and anger. It’s understandable to feel upset when you perceive unfair treatment, especially when you’re already feeling vulnerable. However, it’s essential to find constructive ways to cope with these emotions. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and self-care can be beneficial. Techniques such as mindfulness, journaling, or even physical exercise can help manage feelings of anger and frustration. Additionally, talking to someone you trust about your feelings can provide relief and perspective.

Your aspirations to become a doctor, like Black Jack, reflect a desire to help others and perhaps a longing to find purpose in your own struggles. It’s important to remember that the path to achieving your goals may not be linear. Many successful individuals have faced setbacks and challenges along the way. Embracing your journey, with all its ups and downs, can lead to personal growth and resilience.

Lastly, it’s crucial to address the thoughts of self-harm or feelings of hopelessness. If you ever feel overwhelmed to the point of considering drastic actions, please reach out for immediate help. There are hotlines and resources available that can provide support in crisis situations. Your life is valuable, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

In conclusion, navigating mental health struggles is a complex process that often involves trial and error in finding the right support and coping mechanisms. It’s important to be patient with yourself and to seek help when needed. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to assist you in finding clarity and healing. Embrace the process of self-discovery, and allow yourself the grace to grow and learn from each experience.

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