Mental Health: Seeking Help for Suicidal Thoughts

Mental health issues?

Hello, doctor.
I am a recent college graduate, and I have been serving in the military for three months now.
I suspect that I may have a mental illness, so I would like to seek your advice.
I remember that during high school, I never had such thoughts, but after moving away for college, I started having suicidal thoughts.
Due to my personality, I initially found it easier to connect with friends, but as time went on, my relationships with them deteriorated.
I feel like they all dislike me, and I often complain to my friends about how they treat me poorly while I feel rejected.
I wonder why they seem to be right while I am always wrong, despite being good to them.

This pattern continued in the military, making my life very painful.
I tend to overthink, and I easily become anxious, which puts a lot of pressure on myself.
I often feel like I don't want to talk to those around me, and I frequently have suicidal thoughts.
However, I know that my personality isn't typically melancholic.
These conflicting thoughts lead me deeper into despair, and my suicidal ideation is accumulating.
I have tried to make myself happy, but I just can't seem to find joy.
I fear that one day I might truly lose control.

I would like to ask if my behavior is indicative of a mental health issue.
I feel that my problems are becoming more severe, and I genuinely don't know how to resolve them.
Could you please provide me with some guidance?

You Ren, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/11/25

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry

Hello,
First of all, I want to say sorry for the delayed response.
I truly do not understand why it took until today to receive your letter.
After carefully reviewing your message, I can clearly see your thought process, which indeed reflects a lot of negative emotions and difficulties in managing and maintaining interpersonal relationships.
These issues are certainly not caused by a short-term situation but are related to your personality traits.
It seems you may have a higher tendency towards depressive personality traits, which can lead to a lack of confidence in handling situations and an increased likelihood of experiencing negative emotions.
Over time, this can easily lead to depression.
If you also face increased stress (such as military service), it can significantly heighten the risk of severe depression and suicidal thoughts.
Therefore, I recommend that you consider speaking with a physician.

Wishing you good health,
Dr.
Chen Wen-Ke
93.1.2

Reply Date: 2003/11/25

More Info

It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and I want to commend you for reaching out for help. The feelings and thoughts you are experiencing are serious and deserve attention. It’s important to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle, and there are ways to address these feelings and improve your mental health.

From what you’ve described, it seems that you are experiencing a combination of anxiety, feelings of isolation, and depressive thoughts, including suicidal ideation. These feelings can often stem from various life changes, such as transitioning from high school to college and now serving in the military. Each of these transitions can be stressful and may lead to feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and confusion about your identity and relationships.

The negative thoughts you mentioned, such as feeling that your friends dislike you or that you are being unfairly treated, can create a cycle of self-doubt and despair. It’s common for individuals in stressful environments, like military service, to feel heightened anxiety and pressure, which can exacerbate these feelings. The fact that you are aware of these thoughts and are questioning their validity is a positive sign; it shows that you are capable of self-reflection.

Here are some steps you can take to help manage these feelings:
1. Seek Professional Help: It’s crucial to talk to a mental health professional. They can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and help you develop coping strategies. Therapy can be particularly beneficial in addressing negative thought patterns and improving emotional regulation.

2. Open Up to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a mentor, sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help alleviate some of the burdens you are carrying. They may offer support, understanding, and a different perspective on your situation.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engaging in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall mood. These techniques can help you stay grounded and present, reducing the tendency to spiral into negative thoughts.

4. Establish a Routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and a sense of normalcy. Include activities that you enjoy and that promote well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or socializing with friends.

5. Limit Negative Influences: If certain relationships or environments contribute to your feelings of negativity, it may be helpful to distance yourself from them. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift you.

6. Focus on Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your struggles without judgment.

7. Emergency Resources: If you ever feel that your thoughts of self-harm or suicide become overwhelming, it’s vital to seek immediate help. Contact a crisis hotline or go to the nearest emergency room. Your safety is the top priority.

Remember, mental health is just as important as physical health, and seeking help is a courageous step toward healing. You have the potential to overcome these challenges, and with the right support and strategies, you can find a path toward a more fulfilling and joyful life. Please take care of yourself and reach out for the help you deserve.

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