Social Anxiety: A High School Student's Struggle

Q: Social Anxiety: A High School Student's Struggle

Hello Mengmeng： The fact that you have decided to write this email indicates that you want to make a change, which is a positive step. <br>Sometimes, we constantly give ourselves many reasons not to try to change, fearing failure and worrying about being laughed at by others. <br

My head is in pain, and my heart is also suffering!

Hello Dr.
Chen: I am a high school freshman girl.
I am very quiet at school and hardly ever speak.
If someone tries to talk to me, I remain quiet and reserved.
I actually have a fear of people and often think that I am not as good as others.
Once I sit down in the classroom, I don’t want to move again because I feel like people are watching me.
I also dread breaks and physical education classes; any activity or class that requires interaction with others makes me panic because I fear being alone and worry that my classmates will notice my solitude and possibly mock me behind my back.
I have been very quiet since childhood, but I am not like this at home; the contrast is significant, almost like having a dual personality.
I want to see a psychiatrist, but I am afraid my parents will find out and make fun of me, and they might say that I am just overthinking everything.
However, I am truly unhappy; every day at school, I have to pretend to be someone I’m not, and I feel so lonely and in pain.
Sometimes I hide in the bathroom during breaks because I would rather isolate myself than interact with my classmates.
Sigh...
I am tired and really want to relax my heart.
Doctor, do you think I might have some mental illness? Please give me some feedback and advice.
Thank you!

Meng Meng, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/03/11

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry

Hello Mengmeng: The fact that you have decided to write this email indicates that you want to make a change, which is a positive step.
Sometimes, we constantly give ourselves many reasons not to try to change, fearing failure and worrying about being laughed at by others.
However, we really don't know if others will laugh at us.
It seems that you lack confidence in yourself, are afraid of social interactions, and tend to view many situations negatively, which understandably leads to feelings of unhappiness.
This state of mind may indeed be indicative of depression, possibly accompanied by anxiety and panic.
I would recommend that you seek out a professional psychiatrist to talk to.
In fact, seeing a psychiatrist is quite common and nothing to be alarmed about.
Wishing you good health.

Reply Date: 2004/03/11

More Info

Hello, thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences. It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and I want to assure you that you are not alone in this struggle. Many high school students experience social anxiety, and it can manifest in various ways, as you've described.

From what you've shared, it seems that you are dealing with significant social anxiety, which is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where you might be judged or scrutinized by others. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as not wanting to participate in class discussions, avoiding interactions during breaks, or even hiding in the restroom to escape social situations. These feelings can be overwhelming and isolating, making it difficult to engage with peers and enjoy your school experience.

It's important to recognize that social anxiety is a legitimate mental health condition, and it can have a profound impact on your daily life. The feelings of inadequacy and fear of being judged that you mentioned are common among those with social anxiety. You may feel like you are living a double life, being more comfortable at home but struggling to express yourself in social settings. This contrast can be confusing and frustrating, leading to feelings of loneliness and despair.

Your desire to seek help is a positive step forward. It’s understandable to feel apprehensive about discussing your mental health with your parents, especially if you fear they might not understand or take your feelings seriously. However, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. Consider the following options:
1. Confidential Support: Many schools have counselors or mental health professionals who can provide support in a confidential setting. Speaking with a school counselor can be a great first step, as they can help you navigate your feelings and may even assist you in talking to your parents about seeking further help.

2. Therapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a highly effective treatment for social anxiety. It helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop coping strategies for anxiety-provoking situations. A therapist can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings and work on practical skills to manage anxiety.

3. Support Groups: Sometimes, connecting with peers who are experiencing similar challenges can be incredibly validating. Look for support groups for teens dealing with anxiety; sharing experiences can help you feel less isolated.

4. Self-Help Strategies: While professional help is important, there are also self-help strategies you can try. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises or meditation, can help reduce anxiety in the moment. Journaling about your feelings can also provide an outlet for your emotions and help you process your experiences.

5. Educate Yourself: Understanding social anxiety can empower you. There are many resources available, including books and online materials, that can provide insight into your condition and offer strategies for coping.

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s okay to ask for support when you need it. You deserve to feel comfortable and confident in social situations, and with the right help and strategies, you can work towards overcoming these challenges. Take small steps, be patient with yourself, and know that improvement is possible. You are not alone in this journey, and there are people who want to help you.

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