Finding Direction: Navigating Career Choices and Mental Health Challenges

I'm sorry to disturb you?

Hello Dr.
Yeh: The winter break is approaching, and besides wishing you a Happy New Year, I am also about to graduate! Most of my classmates are preparing for the second-stage exams, but I am not, as I still cannot determine what I want to do in the future.
Previously, I consulted a psychiatrist who advised me that my future career does not necessarily have to be my passion; it is more important to ensure my basic needs are met first, and I can pursue my aspirations later.
I took career interest, ability, and personality tests at our school's counseling center.
The results showed that my highest score in the interest test was in the "logical" category with a score of 84, followed by "people" and "business," while "engineering" was last.
In the ability test, my scores in natural sciences were higher than in other areas, but I ranked 69th among 100 university students (based on the test results).
My scores in English and mathematics were the lowest, indicating that I am in the lower tier! My counselor showed me the test results and asked what career would suit me based on my conditions (personality, academic level, etc.).
After reviewing the results, I felt that I should be in the "administrative" category, such as clerical work.
Years ago, I dreamed of a job where I could simply type, plan, and report in an office after graduating from university.
However, I realized that such jobs do not pay well, and I am very unwilling to settle for a "mundane" job! I still remember seeing on television "some" bad doctors who refuse to treat patients without money or make sarcastic remarks.
I experienced this once myself, and my aspiration was to become a doctor to help the poor.
For a while, I was infatuated with the idea of becoming a police officer.
Unfortunately, I have not made much progress and couldn't even get into high school! My counselor once told me, "It's not enough to just want to be a doctor" (I vaguely heard this)! This statement was similar to what I heard when I was job hunting; back then, I graduated from a night vocational school and thought that education was not very important, so I did not pursue further studies.
Later, when applying for a job, the supervisor bluntly told me, "With your qualifications, anyone can apply after seeing the job ad in the newspaper, and every applicant has a higher education than you; it's not enough to just say you want to work here; you need our approval first!"
When I was learning plumbing and electrical work, the boss's father treated me like garbage.
As long as you have the skills, you can have privileges.
I was just an apprentice, and every time I wanted to use the restroom after work, they would say it was broken, and I had to go home to wash my hands.
I also worked as a waiter in a restaurant, and when a customer offered me a drink, I refused (I don’t drink), and the manager scolded me, saying that the customer offering me a drink was a sign of respect, otherwise, I was nothing, and threatened to fire me...
I no longer want to be looked down upon, which is why I decided to continue my studies! After all these experiences, I do not want to be in a lower position anymore.
I remember that the more I tried to do well in the restaurant, the more mistakes I made.
I hated myself for my lack of ability, for every failure, and for not being able to show my parents my success.
In their eyes, I am so unfilial and bringing shame to my ancestors...

Initially, I almost starved because it was hard to find a job (I should say I was hungry but couldn't find a job willing to hire me).
There were times when my father wanted to kick me out of the house, or once when I was helping someone sell goods in Keelung, the boss said it was difficult to learn his skills, and I had to hide from the police every day.
I felt that this was not suitable for me, so I went home.
When my parents found out, my dad said he would kick me out, but my mom said I could take my time to find a job.
Several times, my mom helped me out of trouble, and my dad told her that it was her spoiling me that led to my situation! It seems that my mom loves me more? Wrong! Compared to my brother, he is the most favored.
Now it’s not about who is favored.
Every time I call my dad, the conversation ends quickly, or when I come home during holidays, my mom is the one who rides to pick me up with all my luggage!
Once, while working as a kitchen apprentice in another restaurant, my performance was just average, but I made one mistake: I developed a crush on the boss's sister.
However, other apprentices (who were one or two levels above me) felt the same way.
After I left (because I couldn't pursue her), the boss's wife asked me why I was leaving.
I later said, "I have let down the expectations of the boss and his wife." After that, while working in the kitchen, I heard the boss's wife say, "If there are no expectations, how can there be disappointment?"
Dr.
Yeh, I am not sharing my past hardships to increase your negative emotions.
I know that the situations I described are due to my own issues; I just don’t know what I want to do now.
Where should I go? After all, I am already 25 years old and want to succeed while my parents are still alive to show them! Every night when I think about this, I cry...
I also followed the psychiatrist's advice to first find a job that can support my living expenses before pursuing my goals.
My goal is to become a doctor; I know this is very difficult, but I believe it is the only way to earn respect from others and bring honor to my ancestors, and then I can help the poor.
However, I have a significant issue—I am excessively sleepy! It’s not that I want to be this way! Especially after taking psychiatric medication, I feel even sleepier...
Every time I wake up late, I feel dizzy as if I have been hit on the head (I have a habit of staying up late).
Recently, I missed counseling classes—English and chemistry—because of this, and at the same time, I need to focus on my major studies to avoid failing! I find chemistry difficult, and while other high school students have lab classes, I have none.
I regret not getting into high school.
My counselor once said, "With my situation, it is impossible to become a doctor, especially since I haven't even attended counseling classes..."! I don’t want to be this way~ I am currently studying electrical engineering, but I don’t particularly like it, though I don’t reject it either...
I have aspirations for subjects like chemistry and medical studies, but I feel somewhat hesitant...
My counselor has told me: I like Black Jack, but that doesn’t mean I have to become a doctor! I just want to practice medicine like Black Jack, but I don’t know which direction to take for my future?? Also, in some situations (when there are too many people or when they are watching me), I feel very nervous.
Right now, my emotions are unstable, and I want to take revenge on the social decay I once despised and eliminate those worthless people!

Shehui Bianren, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/01/03

Dr. Ye Baozhuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, social outcast.
At first, I wasn't sure how to respond to your question without misleading you.
However, after some contemplation, I would like to suggest a book title: "Living in the Moment." We can aspire to be anything—whether a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or even president—because at twenty-five, anything is possible.
But it's essential to live in the present and focus on doing well in the here and now.
It's important to appreciate who I am today rather than using my future self to criticize my current self.
Do you understand? I need to remind myself that I am actually doing well now, but I can be even better in the future.
I am not worthless or useless at this moment.
So, I should focus on improving myself first.
As for the societal failures of the past, once you achieve success, you can revisit and address those issues later.

Reply Date: 2005/01/03

More Info

Navigating career choices while managing mental health challenges can be an overwhelming experience, especially when faced with uncertainty about the future. Your situation reflects a common struggle among many individuals who are trying to find their path while dealing with the pressures of societal expectations and personal aspirations. Here are some insights and suggestions that may help you find direction in your career while also addressing your mental health concerns.

First and foremost, it's essential to acknowledge that it's perfectly normal to feel lost or uncertain about your career path, especially at a young age. Many people go through periods of exploration before settling on a career that feels right for them. The pressure to choose a career that not only supports you financially but also fulfills your aspirations can be daunting. It's important to remember that your career does not have to define your worth or your identity.
Your experience with career assessments and discussions with your counselor is a valuable step in understanding your strengths and interests. The results indicating a preference for "things" over "people" suggest that you might thrive in roles that involve analytical or technical tasks rather than those requiring extensive interpersonal interaction. This insight can guide you toward fields that align with your skills, such as data analysis, IT, or engineering, which may offer more stability and growth potential.

While you have expressed a desire to pursue a career in medicine, it’s crucial to consider the practical aspects of this goal. Medical professions often require rigorous academic performance and a significant commitment of time and energy, which may be challenging given your current mental health struggles, including hypersomnia and emotional instability. It might be beneficial to explore related fields that still allow you to help others but may be less demanding, such as healthcare administration, medical coding, or even roles in community health organizations.

In terms of managing your mental health, it’s vital to prioritize self-care and seek support. Regular therapy sessions with a mental health professional can provide you with coping strategies to manage anxiety and emotional distress. Additionally, engaging in activities that promote relaxation and mindfulness, such as yoga, meditation, or even simple breathing exercises, can help alleviate some of the stress you are experiencing.

Building a support network is also essential. Surround yourself with people who understand your struggles and can offer encouragement. This could include friends, family, or support groups for individuals dealing with similar mental health issues. Sharing your experiences with others can help reduce feelings of isolation and provide you with different perspectives on your situation.

As for your concerns about age and employability, it’s important to recognize that many individuals successfully change careers or start new paths later in life. Employers often value diverse experiences and perspectives, which can be an asset in the workplace. If you find yourself in a position where you need to start from the ground up, consider it an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a setback.

Lastly, remember that career development is a journey, not a destination. It’s okay to take small steps and explore different options before committing to a specific path. You might consider internships, volunteer opportunities, or part-time jobs in fields of interest to gain experience and clarify your goals.
In conclusion, while the journey to finding a fulfilling career can be fraught with challenges, it is also an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. By focusing on your strengths, seeking support for your mental health, and remaining open to various possibilities, you can navigate this complex landscape and find a path that resonates with you. Remember, it’s okay to take your time and explore different avenues before making a decision. Your well-being should always come first.

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