Send another letter?
Hello..
I previously wrote a letter to you..
After reading your response, I gathered the courage to make a hypothetical statement to my parents one day: "If I say I want to transition, would you accept me and sign a consent form?" However, the response I received was, "If you want to transition, then I might as well not recognize you as my child." After reflecting on this, I understand that my mother went through a lot to carry me for 10 months to have this "son," and after 15 years, to say I want to become a "daughter" is not without reason.
However, looking at my body every day and feeling discomfort, especially when I sometimes move more freely and get called "your movements are very feminine" (I've also been asked, "Are you even a boy?"), I respond, "I am a girl, is that not okay?" [This has even been said by my parents.] Is it not permissible to be a girl? I have been troubled by this for a long time, and the more I look at my body, the more frustrated I become (when it protrudes, I often wish I could just cut it off).
*Xiezi*, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/09/18
Dr. Chen Wenyu reply Psychiatry
Hello, shoes: Think about it from a role reversal perspective.
If you were the parents, in their era, they hardly heard about homosexuality, let alone gender transition.
If you suddenly brought up this issue, how would they accept it? Before you transition into a female body (physically and in terms of identity), you will inevitably have to face the strange looks from others.
After all, the vast majority of people in society still find it difficult to accept this.
However, the most important thing is that you must be able to accept yourself, do you understand? This path is very challenging; one can only blame God for the misplacement.
There are many cases like yours both domestically and internationally.
Some have succeeded and live happy lives, but others have given up halfway...
I sincerely wish you success.
Thank you for your letter!
Reply Date: 2005/09/18
More Info
Navigating the complexities of gender identity can be a deeply personal and often challenging journey. Your experience reflects a common struggle faced by many individuals who feel a disconnect between their assigned gender at birth and their true identity. It’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid and that you are not alone in this process.
Firstly, it’s crucial to understand that gender identity exists on a spectrum. It is not strictly binary; rather, it encompasses a wide range of identities beyond just male and female. Many people identify as non-binary, genderqueer, or genderfluid, among other identities. Your feelings of discomfort with your physical body and the desire to express yourself as a female are significant indicators of your gender identity. It’s also important to note that gender dysphoria, which you seem to be experiencing, is a recognized condition where individuals feel distress due to a mismatch between their gender identity and their assigned sex at birth.
The reaction from your parents, particularly your mother, is not uncommon. Many parents may struggle to understand their child's gender identity, especially if it challenges traditional gender norms. Their initial response may stem from a place of fear, confusion, or societal conditioning. It’s essential to approach these conversations with empathy and patience, as it may take time for them to process and accept your identity. Open communication can help bridge the gap between your experiences and their understanding.
In terms of your feelings about your body, it’s understandable to feel frustrated or distressed about physical characteristics that do not align with your gender identity. Many individuals in similar situations have found relief through various means, including therapy, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), or surgical options. It’s essential to explore these options with a qualified healthcare provider who specializes in gender identity issues. They can provide you with the necessary support and guidance to make informed decisions about your body and identity.
Moreover, seeking support from mental health professionals who are experienced in gender identity issues can be incredibly beneficial. They can help you navigate your feelings, provide coping strategies, and assist you in developing a positive self-image. Support groups, both online and in-person, can also offer a sense of community and understanding from others who have faced similar challenges.
It’s also worth considering that your journey is uniquely yours. There is no right or wrong way to express your gender identity, and it’s okay to take your time in figuring out what feels best for you. Whether that involves transitioning socially, medically, or both, the most important aspect is that you feel comfortable and authentic in your skin.
Lastly, remember that your worth is not defined by societal expectations or the opinions of others, including your parents. Embracing your identity is a courageous step towards living a fulfilling life. Surround yourself with supportive friends and allies who affirm your identity, and continue to seek out resources that resonate with your experiences.
In conclusion, your journey of acceptance and understanding is a vital part of your identity. It’s a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and support. By exploring your feelings and seeking help, you can navigate this path towards a more authentic and fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone, and there are many resources and communities available to support you along the way.
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