How to Help a Distressed Third Party in a Love Triangle?

What should I do?

Hello, my husband started an affair six months ago.
Recently, he broke up with the third party, but she cannot accept it and has been threatening him, even injuring him.
My husband wants to return to our family, but she won't let him go.
In the past two days, she has attempted suicide by taking pills and after being discharged from the hospital, she mentioned wanting to buy charcoal to commit suicide.
This third party has also been harassing me.
My husband regrets his actions, but he doesn't want to watch her die.
How can we help this third party? Are there any resources available to consult for helping her to stabilize? My husband acknowledges his mistakes and is asking how to assist her.
Should someone who constantly talks about suicide and feels worthless be hospitalized? Should they be admitted to a psychiatric hospital or a mental health facility? Thank you.

Today, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/07/04

Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry

Dear Sir/Madam,
Regarding the suicide attempts and impulses of the third party you mentioned, it involves emotional entanglements among the three of you.
From a mental health perspective, whether the individual is attempting to regain a relationship through suicide or genuinely intends to end their life, this third party requires active medical evaluation and observation.
According to the Mental Health Act, if there is a clear intent or behavior related to suicide, it may be reported to the local police department or health authorities for involuntary hospitalization in a psychiatric ward.
However, it is best to have the third party's most trusted friends or family assist in facilitating voluntary treatment, as this may better resolve your concerns.

The Tainan Hospital of the Department of Health cares about your well-being!

Reply Date: 2006/07/04

More Info

In situations involving emotional distress, particularly in complex love triangles, it is crucial to approach the matter with sensitivity and care. Your husband’s former partner is clearly in a state of crisis, exhibiting behaviors that suggest she may be experiencing severe emotional distress, including suicidal ideation and self-harm. Here are some steps you can take to help her, while also considering the safety and well-being of everyone involved.

Understanding the Situation
1. Recognize the Signs of Distress: The third party's actions, such as threatening self-harm and expressing feelings of hopelessness, indicate she may be suffering from a mental health crisis. It is essential to take these signs seriously. Individuals in such states often feel trapped and may resort to drastic measures if they believe they have no other options.

2. Encourage Professional Help: The most effective way to assist someone in emotional distress is to encourage them to seek professional help. This could involve contacting a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, who can provide appropriate therapy and medication if necessary. If she is resistant to this idea, you might suggest that she speak with a trusted friend or family member who can help her take that step.

3. Crisis Intervention: If she is actively threatening to harm herself or has already attempted suicide, it is crucial to take immediate action. You or your husband should contact emergency services or a crisis hotline. In the U.S., the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK) is available 24/7 for individuals in crisis. They can provide immediate support and guidance on what to do next.

Providing Support
1. Open Communication: If your husband feels comfortable, he might consider reaching out to her to express concern for her well-being. It’s important that he communicates that he cares about her safety, regardless of the circumstances of their relationship. However, this should be done cautiously, as it may also provoke further distress.

2. Avoid Enabling Behavior: While it’s important to show compassion, it’s equally vital not to enable unhealthy behaviors. If she is using threats of self-harm to manipulate or control the situation, it’s essential to set boundaries. Your husband should make it clear that while he cares for her well-being, he cannot be responsible for her actions or feelings.

3. Safety Planning: If she is open to it, help her create a safety plan. This plan should include coping strategies for when she feels overwhelmed, a list of people she can reach out to for support, and emergency contacts for mental health services.

Seeking Professional Resources
1. Mental Health Services: Encourage her to seek help from mental health professionals. This could be through outpatient therapy or, if her situation is severe, inpatient treatment. Inpatient care is typically provided in psychiatric hospitals or specialized mental health facilities, where she can receive intensive support.

2. Support Groups: Suggest that she look into support groups for individuals dealing with similar issues. These groups can provide a sense of community and understanding, which may help her feel less isolated in her struggles.

3. Hotlines and Online Resources: There are numerous resources available, including hotlines and online counseling services, that can provide immediate support and guidance. Encourage her to utilize these resources.

Conclusion
In conclusion, while it is commendable that your husband wants to help his former partner, it is crucial to prioritize her safety and well-being, as well as your own. Encourage her to seek professional help, and if she poses an immediate risk to herself, do not hesitate to contact emergency services. Mental health crises require professional intervention, and while your husband can offer support, he cannot take on the responsibility of her mental health. It’s essential to approach this situation with compassion, but also with a clear understanding of the boundaries that need to be set for the safety of everyone involved.

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