Feeling Stuck: Navigating Mental Health and Finding Purpose

"Ghost hitting the wall"

I have seen two doctors, and both said that I am fine, but I just think too much.
I told them that I am unhappy every day, and the doctors asked me why I feel this way.
I said it might be because I feel unsuccessful.
They asked me what I consider success, and I said that if possible, I would like to have a stable job that pays 40,000 NT dollars, as that seems to represent success.
The doctor said that it’s not necessarily true; if I can find a job, I might gain a sense of achievement from it, which would make me feel accomplished.

Then, he guided me to express that I feel like I am not good at anything.
I mentioned that it might be due to a lack of confidence.
He suggested that perhaps, on a deeper level, I am very dissatisfied with myself.
I expressed my desire to have the intelligence of a doctor, and he told me that he also has many worries and has to listen to many patients' concerns.

Now, I feel a bit lost because I constantly feel unhappy, and this thought makes me unmotivated to do anything.
However, the doctor said that my functioning is good and that I just need to find my goals and focus in life.
But I feel like I have no goals or focus and can't accomplish anything.
I despise these negative thoughts that keep going in circles.

Both psychiatrists have said that I am fine and just think too much, advising me not to overthink things.
I always thought that psychiatrists wouldn’t say "don’t think too much," as I went to see a doctor because I couldn’t stop overthinking.
But the doctors keep saying there’s no problem.
Should I see a third doctor, or do I need psychotherapy instead of seeing a psychiatrist? Or do psychiatrists also provide psychotherapy? I noticed that in my two billing statements, one included a handling fee of 344 NT dollars while the other did not, but both had consultation fees.
So, the handling fee and consultation fee should be different, right? I wonder if the handling fee is for the psychiatrist's use of psychotherapy during the consultation.
If so, I would like to try that again.

Shu, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2009/06/20

Dr. Chen Yuying reply Psychiatry

Of course, you can feel unhappy, you can complain a lot, you can be dissatisfied with yourself, and you can continue to go in circles; what does it matter? This statement is not meant to criticize you, but rather to sincerely express this to you.
Living without a sense of purpose is still a form of existence, and living unhappily is also a way of living.
The only question you need to ask yourself is: "Do you want to change your current situation?" It doesn't matter whether you want to or not, and it doesn't matter if you rely on yourself or others to achieve it.
It's okay if you can't provide an answer right now.
Just give me one answer first: do you want to take medication? As for the treatment fee of 334 points (not 334 dollars, as it may be discounted by the National Health Insurance, possibly only 334 x 0.8 dollars), it should be the assessment fee for the initial consultation, as the points for psychological therapy reported by the physician in outpatient settings are usually 97 points.
(However, this shows that you are a detail-oriented person.)

Reply Date: 2009/06/20

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a complex mix of emotions and thoughts that are causing you distress. Your feelings of unhappiness, lack of purpose, and self-doubt are not uncommon, especially in today's fast-paced world where societal pressures can lead to feelings of inadequacy. It's important to recognize that seeking help is a positive step, and it’s commendable that you have already consulted two doctors.

From what you've described, it seems that you are grappling with feelings of failure and a lack of fulfillment in your life. The fact that both doctors have indicated that you are functioning well but still feel unhappy suggests that your issues may not stem from a clinical mental health disorder but rather from situational or existential concerns. This is where therapy can be particularly beneficial.

Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings and thoughts more deeply. It can help you identify the root causes of your unhappiness and develop strategies to cope with negative thoughts. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), for example, is effective in addressing negative thought patterns and can help you learn to challenge and reframe those thoughts. A therapist can guide you in setting realistic goals and finding a sense of purpose that aligns with your values and desires.

You mentioned that you feel stuck and that you have a desire for a stable job that provides a sense of achievement. It might be helpful to explore what "success" means to you beyond financial stability. Success can take many forms, including personal growth, relationships, and contributions to your community. Reflecting on what truly matters to you can help you set meaningful goals.

Additionally, it’s worth noting that the feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt you are experiencing are often exacerbated by comparison to others. In a world dominated by social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to the curated highlights of others. Practicing self-compassion and recognizing your unique journey can help alleviate some of this pressure.

Regarding your question about whether to see a third doctor or pursue therapy, it may be beneficial to seek out a psychologist or a licensed therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy or existential therapy. These professionals can provide a different perspective and may offer the tools you need to navigate your feelings of being stuck.

As for the distinction between the fees you mentioned, it’s common for mental health professionals to charge different rates for consultations and therapeutic interventions. If you feel that the second doctor did not address your concerns adequately, it’s perfectly acceptable to seek a third opinion or to pursue therapy instead.

In summary, your feelings of unhappiness and lack of direction are valid, and it’s important to address them. Therapy can provide you with the tools to explore these feelings, set achievable goals, and ultimately find a sense of purpose. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you deserve to feel fulfilled and happy in your life.

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