Struggling with Motivation and Social Interaction: What to Do?

If you don't want to interact with others and lack motivation to work, consider the following steps: 1. Self-Reflection: Take some time to understand the underlying reasons for your feelings. Are you experiencing stress, anxiety, or depression? 2. Set Small Goals: Break your tasks into smaller, manageable goals

Hello, doctor: I don't know what's wrong with me; can you tell me? My thoughts and feelings keep changing...!! Recently, I found two accounting jobs related to my education, but I only worked one day at each and didn't go back the next day.
After work, I sometimes feel like I can continue, but other times I don't want to go (once I have that thought, I want to give up on the job), and it's a constant back and forth.
Knowing that I don't have to work tomorrow suddenly makes me feel very relaxed, but also frustrated and sad...
Because I don't know anything, I have no skills, I have to learn everything, and I need to memorize a lot of things.
My mind can't hold it all, my memory is poor, and I feel very depressed, lacking motivation and interest to learn...
I also don't know what my interests are.
I used to think I was very interested in "cooking," but now I'm afraid it was just a fleeting interest; I start and then want to give up, and it's the same back and forth situation.
It seems like I can't get excited about anything...
Additionally, I've always struggled to overcome my "disinterest" in interacting with anyone.
I'm "afraid" of workplaces with too many people, and gradually, I don't know how to converse with others anymore.
I can't describe long sentences and often don't know how to "explain" something.
Interpersonal issues seem to be the biggest problem for me.
What should I do...?

Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2011/04/18

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, sometimes we may experience situations as described in the letter.
If the duration is not long, such as within a few days, and the total time spent experiencing these feelings is less than half of the day, it may not necessarily indicate a problem.
However, if the duration exceeds two to three weeks and these uncomfortable feelings are present for most of the day, it is important to consider the possibility of depression or other issues.
It is also essential to compare this with one's baseline personality; significant deviations would be meaningful.
You asked what to do? My recommendation is to see a doctor.
Ignoring problems and worrying about them without taking action is not a good strategy, as it leads to inefficiency and wasted time.
Wishing you all the best.
Sincerely, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2011/04/18

More Info

It sounds like you're experiencing a challenging combination of social anxiety, lack of motivation, and feelings of inadequacy, which can be overwhelming. Let's break down your situation and explore some potential strategies to help you navigate through these difficulties.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that what you're feeling is not uncommon, especially for individuals who struggle with social anxiety. This condition can lead to a cycle of avoidance, where the fear of social interactions or new experiences results in a withdrawal from opportunities that could otherwise enhance your life. The feelings of being overwhelmed by new tasks, such as those in your accounting jobs, can exacerbate this anxiety, making it even harder to engage with work or social situations.

Understanding Your Feelings
1. Emotional Fluctuations: The rapid changes in your feelings about work and social interactions may stem from anxiety. When faced with new challenges, it's natural to feel both excitement and dread. The relief you feel when you know you don’t have to go to work can indicate a significant level of stress associated with those responsibilities.

2. Fear of Failure: It seems you may have a fear of not meeting expectations, whether they are your own or those imposed by others. This fear can lead to a lack of motivation, as the thought of failing can be paralyzing. It’s crucial to remember that everyone has to start somewhere, and making mistakes is a part of the learning process.

3. Social Interaction Anxiety: Your reluctance to engage with others and the fear of social situations can create a feedback loop. The more you avoid these interactions, the more difficult they become, leading to increased anxiety and further avoidance.

Strategies for Improvement
1. Seek Professional Help: Given the complexity of your feelings and experiences, it may be beneficial to consult with a mental health professional. Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you address your anxiety and develop coping strategies. Medication may also be an option to consider, as it can help alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression.

2. Set Small Goals: Start with manageable tasks that can help build your confidence. For instance, instead of committing to a full day of work, try to set a goal of working for just a few hours. Gradually increase your time as you become more comfortable. This approach can help reduce the pressure you feel.

3. Practice Social Skills: Engaging in social situations can be daunting, but practicing in low-pressure environments can help. Consider joining small groups or clubs that align with your interests, where the focus is on shared activities rather than socializing. This can provide a more comfortable context for interaction.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can help you manage anxiety. These techniques can ground you in the present moment and reduce feelings of overwhelm.

5. Explore Your Interests: It’s okay to not have a clear idea of what you enjoy right now. Allow yourself the freedom to explore different activities without the pressure of commitment. If cooking was once an interest, try experimenting with it again without the expectation of perfection.
6. Connect with Supportive People: Surround yourself with individuals who understand your struggles and can provide encouragement. This could be friends, family, or support groups where you can share experiences with others facing similar challenges.

Conclusion
Navigating social anxiety and motivation issues can be a complex journey, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone in this experience. Taking small, consistent steps towards addressing your feelings and seeking support can lead to gradual improvements. Be patient with yourself as you work through these challenges, and remember that progress may take time. Embracing your unique journey and allowing yourself to grow at your own pace is key to finding fulfillment and joy in your life.

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