Overcoming Inner Doubts: A Psychiatric Perspective on Change

Key challenges

Hello, Doctor: I have been seeking change and have made numerous attempts, trying many methods such as affirmations.
However, those who truly achieve results seem to embody the following description: "When they want to realize something, they can clearly visualize what it looks like when their wishes are fulfilled, fully believe that they can achieve it, and consistently maintain the emotional state of having already accomplished their desires.
They rarely experience worry, fear, or doubt; even if they do, they know how to release those feelings immediately and continue moving forward without letting feelings of lack affect them."
This is my dilemma because, to be honest, I often feel that I can't do it and that it's futile.
Even though I intellectually desire change and do not want to live an unhappy life (I find many things uninteresting and am constantly searching for my life's meaning), I wonder if my urgent desire for change has become a source of stress! I see no progress, no transformation, and I don't know how to take that final step.
I feel that my situation is not exactly depression; I function normally at work, eat well, and sleep well, but I am just not happy.
This unhappiness remains at a consistent level of low mood, and I simply want to change it.
Otherwise, I might just live like this forever.

I really want to know how to overcome the doubts within me and the constant worries.
I previously thought that constantly telling myself it was effective was akin to self-hypnosis.
Rational thinking kicks in, but when I shared this with a friend, they replied, "Even if it's hypnosis, if it works, that's what matters," which was a bit of a wake-up call.
But why do I still feel stuck, unable to genuinely believe that I can be different? How can I change this mindset? I have been trying hard for a long time.
Thank you.

sein, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2011/10/18

Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry

Dear Dr.
Wang Chong-Jen of the Tainan Hospital, Department of Psychiatry, Executive Yuan Health Department:
Hello,
Self-doubt is a psychological issue that exists in everyone at all times.
Some people have more faith and less doubt, while others are more doubtful and less trusting.
Many individuals go through life shrouded in confusion without realizing it.
Perhaps these tendencies have innate components, but the exploration and understanding of one's inner self should be the key to unraveling self-doubt.
Telling oneself "this is useful" requires a willingness to let go of some attachment to self-doubt.
In cognitive psychology, this is referred to as negative automatic thoughts, such as "I am a failure" or "What I do is worthless." When filled with self-doubt, it often leads to "cognitive distortions" that skew self-perception.
You must learn to recognize these irrational thoughts (for example, through cognitive behavioral therapy), as they will naturally dissipate when replaced by rational thoughts.
Sometimes, letting go of the desire to "change" or "doubt oneself" is precisely what opens up mental space for personal growth and the realization of dreams.
This is offered for your consideration.
Wishing you good health and peace of mind!
Sincerely,
Department of Psychiatry, Tainan Hospital, Executive Yuan Health Department

Reply Date: 2011/10/18

More Info

Overcoming inner doubts and seeking change can be a challenging journey, especially when one feels stuck in a cycle of negativity and self-doubt. Your experience resonates with many individuals who grapple with similar feelings, and it's important to acknowledge that you're not alone in this struggle. Let's explore some strategies and insights from a psychiatric perspective that may help you navigate this complex emotional landscape.

Firstly, it's essential to recognize that change is often a gradual process rather than an instantaneous transformation. Many people, including those who seem to achieve their goals effortlessly, have likely faced their own battles with self-doubt and fear. The key lies in how they manage these feelings. Acknowledging that it's normal to experience doubts can be the first step toward overcoming them. Instead of striving for a state of constant positivity, consider embracing a more balanced approach that allows for both positive and negative emotions.

One effective strategy is to practice self-compassion. This involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend in a similar situation. When you encounter negative thoughts or feelings of inadequacy, try to respond with compassion rather than criticism. For example, instead of saying, "I can't believe I'm still feeling this way," you might say, "It's okay to feel this way; many people do, and I'm doing my best." This shift in perspective can help reduce the pressure you place on yourself to be perfect or to achieve change immediately.

Another important aspect of overcoming inner doubts is to set realistic and achievable goals. Instead of focusing on a broad desire for change, break it down into smaller, manageable steps. For instance, if you're seeking to find meaning in your life, you might start by exploring new hobbies or interests that excite you. Celebrate small victories along the way, as these can build your confidence and reinforce the belief that change is possible.

Mindfulness practices can also be beneficial in managing negative thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness encourages you to stay present and observe your thoughts without judgment. This can help you recognize patterns of negative thinking and create space between your thoughts and your reactions. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or even journaling can facilitate this process, allowing you to gain insight into your feelings and reduce anxiety.

Additionally, consider seeking professional support. A mental health professional can provide guidance tailored to your specific needs and help you explore underlying issues contributing to your feelings of inadequacy. Therapy can offer a safe space to express your thoughts and emotions, and a therapist can equip you with coping strategies to manage self-doubt effectively.

It's also worth noting that the concept of "affirmations" or positive self-talk can be powerful, but they may not work for everyone in the same way. If you find that affirmations feel disingenuous or ineffective, it might be more helpful to focus on realistic statements that acknowledge your efforts and progress, rather than lofty ideals. For example, instead of saying, "I am confident and capable," you might say, "I am learning to be more confident, and I am taking steps to improve."
Lastly, remember that it's okay to feel uncertain about the future. Life is inherently unpredictable, and it's natural to have moments of doubt. Embracing uncertainty can be liberating, as it allows you to let go of the need for control and accept that change takes time. By focusing on the present moment and taking small, consistent steps toward your goals, you can gradually build a sense of agency and purpose in your life.

In conclusion, overcoming inner doubts requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to seek support. By implementing these strategies and recognizing that change is a journey, you can cultivate a more positive mindset and work toward a fulfilling life. Remember, it's okay to ask for help along the way, and taking that step can be a significant part of your transformation.

Similar Q&A

Transforming Your Mindset: Overcoming Anxiety and Depression

Changing cognition seems to be similar to changing thoughts, but once a belief is established, it feels like there’s no way to revert it. For a long time, I have often felt down and depressed. Eventually, I achieved something I had been worried about for a long time (finding a st...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: Everyone has a different personality; some are optimistic, while others are pessimistic. People with a pessimistic personality tend to be more cautious and are likely to envision potential disasters. If this tendency is not excessive, they are generally less prone to makin...

Transforming Thoughts: Overcoming Self-Doubt in Communication

Many people say that changing your thoughts can change your beliefs. I understand what this means, but I just can't change myself... I am someone who struggles to express myself, which makes me feel somewhat insecure about speaking. I read in books and hear from many people ...

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry
Hello, you may want to reflect on the many memorable events in your past life and compare your feelings about those events before and after. Have you ever found yourself underestimating your abilities? Moving forward, it is important to firmly acknowledge your strengths and capab...

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem: Strategies for Personal Transformation

Hello Doctor: "Lack of confidence" is my biggest issue. I have tried many methods and read numerous books, including Carnegie, but nothing has truly resonated with me (perhaps it's because deep down I don't believe change is possible or effective!). Even the p...

Dr. Chen Wenyu reply Psychiatry
Hello CHIA: Since you also perceive it as "personality," the development of personality is fundamentally a combination of innate temperament and environmental factors. You cannot choose your innate temperament, and the environment has already shaped you over the past 28...

Overcoming Self-Doubt: A Programmer's Journey Through Anxiety

Hello doctor, I was originally a software developer and have been at a new company for three months. However, during these three months, my colleague has been constantly modifying my code, and when I ask for reasons, they are vague. The other colleagues are not in this field, so ...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello, A-mei: Past events may cast some shadows, but as time goes by and we gain new experiences, those shadows typically become diluted. Future work situations are independent events, and past circumstances usually do not repeat themselves. If they do recur, it can provide us wi...