Navigating Mental Health Challenges Amidst Family and Financial Struggles

Q: Navigating Mental Health Challenges Amidst Family and Financial Struggles

Hello A-Yao： First of all, welcome to your letter. <br>The situation of disadvantaged individuals with mental illness is indeed challenging, but it has improved significantly. <br>In addition to free medical care, there are also living subsidies available. <br>I suggest you visit

Psychiatric issues related to physical and mental health?

Hello: Because I wrote a long article about "the combination of urology and psychiatric issues," the urologist only answered my urology questions and did not respond to my psychiatric concerns, so I am asking psychiatry! That urologist asked me to think clearly about whether I want to have children and then consider whether there will be any hereditary issues.
Currently, there are many methods of assisted reproduction, and there are quite a few successful cases.
Since I plan to have only one child, I feel a lot of pressure.
I am the eldest son, I do not bear the financial burden of my family, and I do not have filial piety towards my parents (my mother has passed away), which I feel is already excessive.
I do not want to fail to fulfill my mother's wishes! I also do not want to grow old and be sick without anyone to take care of me, becoming a lonely elderly person.
My brother said that after my father passes away, we might go our separate ways and have nothing to do with each other anymore! After all, brothers eventually split up, and my brother may have his own family in the future, leaving me all alone.
I am also very reluctant to see our family line end without descendants.
That would make me feel unsatisfied and go against my mother's wishes.
I am a severely disabled person with a psychoneurosis, and I currently cannot find a job.
Even when I apply for jobs, I do not receive any responses.
Right now, I survive on collecting recyclables and the government’s disability living allowance, which totals about 6,000 NT dollars a month.
Since I live with my brother and father, I do not have to bear the costs of utilities, which means I am dependent on my family.
We are currently living off the money my mother left behind.
My brother is working, but I have not served in the military and am a disabled person; who would hire me? Right now, I can only survive by collecting garbage and relying on government assistance, living day by day.
I do not know how long my little savings from the past can last.
When I reach a dead end, I wonder if my brother would be willing to help me? Otherwise, besides becoming homeless, I might resort to crime to survive.
I just want to avoid that! Why do I have to collect garbage? Currently, I can only save money little by little, but it is not much.
Perhaps my desire to have a child to carry on the family line is too crazy! But I genuinely want to educate my "son" to become successful! My father is considered the least capable among his siblings, but not only is he not better, all the resources were taken by his older brothers.
My brother and I were raised by the money my mother earned, so my father hopes the next generation will succeed.
However, I have disappointed my parents; my brother is more accomplished than I am.
When I was a student, I was bullied by classmates due to academic competition, and I still harbor a lot of resentment! I really want to get revenge on them one day! Otherwise, I wouldn’t have to collect garbage, be unaccomplished, and not be filial to my parents...
I think if I have children, I will definitely have to rely on various government subsidies and social resources for their education.
I have no money, but like my father, I hope for a successful child.
I want to personally and strictly educate the next generation so they do not become like me! I could choose to live freely and carelessly, only focusing on myself, spending money when I have it, and living on the edge of the law when I don’t.
Although I am not diligent, I want to change my current situation.
I was very close to my mother, but after she passed away, I cannot find anyone to confide in, which is sometimes very painful.
I was heartbroken after my mother died, especially since I cannot find a way to survive (I cannot work, my various circumstances...).
I am curious about what the world is like after death and want to see it for myself.
After my mother died, I suffered immensely; she was not by my side, we did not live together, and I thought about suicide.
I originally planned to live until my father passed away, but every time I think of my mother, I want to cry.
I long for my parents to accompany me throughout my life! But not in a close physical sense; a life filled with familial love would be much happier.
My psychiatrist advised me to find my own interests, but without my mother around, she cannot give me any advice.
However, to cover living expenses, I have to be busy with various tasks; who has that much free time? Sometimes I think how pitiful people are; besides needing to work hard for income, they also have to do housework and various chores, and at night, they have to shower and brush their teeth.
It’s so annoying and tiring! Tomorrow is another day, and I will be busy again.
That’s why I do not shower or brush my teeth every day! I am just living day by day.
What should I do? How long do I have to live like this? Right now, I am just a homeless person with a place to stay.
If I get kicked out one day or run out of resources, I will be neither human nor ghost...

A Yao, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2012/09/15

Dr. Li Zhengfeng reply Psychiatry

Hello A-Yao: First of all, welcome to your letter.
The situation of disadvantaged individuals with mental illness is indeed challenging, but it has improved significantly.
In addition to free medical care, there are also living subsidies available.
I suggest you visit the employment service center to look for suitable job opportunities or seek assistance from local rehabilitation support associations, where you can at least find emotional support.
I hope tomorrow will be better for you.
Thank you.

Reply Date: 2012/09/15

More Info

Navigating mental health challenges amidst family and financial struggles can be incredibly overwhelming, as you've described in your situation. It’s clear that you are experiencing a multitude of stressors, including the loss of your mother, financial instability, feelings of isolation, and the pressure of familial expectations. Each of these factors can significantly impact your mental health, leading to feelings of despair, anxiety, and hopelessness.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge the profound grief you are experiencing after the loss of your mother. Grief can manifest in various ways, including sadness, anger, and even guilt. The absence of a supportive figure can leave a void that is difficult to fill, and it’s natural to feel lost without her guidance. It may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional who can help you process your grief and develop coping strategies. Therapy can provide a safe space to express your feelings and work through the complex emotions associated with loss.

Financial struggles can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. The pressure to provide for oneself and the fear of becoming a burden to others can lead to a cycle of negative thinking. It’s crucial to recognize that your worth is not defined by your financial situation or your ability to work. Many people face financial hardships, and seeking assistance from social services or community resources can help alleviate some of the burdens you are carrying. There are often programs available that can provide support for individuals with disabilities, including job training and placement services tailored to your needs.

Your desire to have children and continue your family legacy is understandable, but it’s essential to consider your current circumstances. Bringing a child into the world comes with significant responsibilities, both emotionally and financially. It may be helpful to focus on your own stability first before making such a life-changing decision. This doesn’t mean you should abandon the idea of having children; rather, it’s about ensuring that you are in a position to provide a nurturing environment for them.

The feelings of anger and resentment towards those who bullied you in the past are also valid. However, holding onto these feelings can be detrimental to your mental health. Finding constructive ways to channel that anger, such as through creative outlets or physical activity, can be more beneficial than seeking revenge. It’s important to focus on your own healing and growth rather than dwelling on past grievances.

Your mental health professional's advice to find interests and hobbies is a positive step. Engaging in activities that bring you joy can help improve your mood and provide a sense of purpose. Even small steps, such as taking a walk, reading a book, or exploring new interests, can make a significant difference in your overall well-being.

Lastly, it’s crucial to establish a support network. While you may feel isolated, there are people and resources available to help you. Consider reaching out to friends, support groups, or community organizations that can provide companionship and understanding. Sharing your experiences with others who have faced similar challenges can be incredibly validating and can help reduce feelings of loneliness.

In conclusion, while your current situation may feel insurmountable, it’s important to remember that change is possible. Seeking professional help, focusing on self-care, and building a support network can all contribute to improving your mental health and overall quality of life. You are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to help you navigate these challenges. Take one step at a time, and be gentle with yourself as you work towards a brighter future.

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