Navigating Mental Health Challenges in High School: A Personal Journey

The year of ninth grade was very painful for me?

This year, I entered the first year of high school at the affiliated high school of Kaohsiung University of Hospitality and Tourism.
I have encountered many unfortunate events this year, and I really don't know how to cope.
I have confided in my family, friends, and my godmother.
There are four children in my family; the youngest is a boy from my father's remarriage.
I am the second child, with one older sister and one younger sister.
I have always felt pressure at home, but I don't want to share my dissatisfaction with anyone because I feel I can't trust anyone.
Recently, I had an argument with my dad.
There wasn't really anything to argue about; I don't understand why he said those things to me.
In the past, whenever he came home from work, I would happily greet him because we come from a single-parent family and are somewhat financially stable.
The three girls in our family have been cared for by our aunt since we were little.
In the past, I would just inform my aunt if I was going out, but now I feel like I have to tell them everything.
Even though he is my dad, it feels like he is just a stranger who gives me money.
I think it doesn't matter if I tell them anything, but the way they ask feels like I'm a criminal, and I really can't stand it.
However, I held back.
Later, my dad asked me, "Are you a good person? Do you have a good temper?" What does he understand? I have been trying to change my issues.
Whenever I have a negative mindset, my homeroom teacher tells me, and I work hard to improve.
This is part of the pressure from home.

In the second year of junior high, I dated a boy in my class, but we broke up not long after.
I was very sad.
Later, I gradually moved on, but after our breakup, he kept insulting me on Facebook.
We used to share everything, and we were very close.
He knew I would give him good advice and help him.
From the first to the third year of junior high, I was always there for him, thinking of him in every way.
But then he treated me like this.
He had a bad relationship history, but he made promises to me that I never asked him to make.
I was naive enough to believe him.
In the third year, he came back to pursue me, saying things he had never said before, and he was very different.
He kept sticking to me and helped me a lot, but he had a girlfriend, which I knew.
So I told him to talk to me after he broke up with her.
However, every time he broke up with her, she would say something the next day, and feeling guilty, they would get back together.
But he was the one who kept coming to me.
We agreed to go to the same high school together, so I argued with my family to be able to attend the same school as him.
Before this, his girlfriend kept insulting me and even brought friends to insult me.
I told him about it, but he told me to ignore her.
I initially wanted to clarify things directly because his girlfriend had done some really scary things.
Whenever they fought, she would cut her arms or go missing, so he was afraid to break up with her.
I even asked him if he loved her, and he said he did.
I thought this was wrong, so I helped him reconcile with her.
Once, I forgot to bring my phone when I went out, so my classmate took it.
That day, my classmate and he were at my house preparing gifts for the teacher.
He came to help.
At school, he would help me, but then he would go home and play on the computer all night, making himself very tired.
After helping me at my house, he would run off to sleep.
Before this, he had played with my phone and later changed my phone's screen to his, which my sister saw.
She went and told her classmates, and then they told his girlfriend, who then insulted me for that reason.
I was really angry.
In the past, I would have definitely hit my sister, but I held back and gave him another chance to be honest.
He said he had, but his classmates, whom I knew, had all conspired against me.
His girlfriend even came to ask my sister how to deal with me.
I was completely dumbfounded.
He is my sister! How could he do this? I treated him very well, yet he would often curse at me, but I endured it.
However, it became increasingly unbearable.
They couldn't stand it anymore.
When I feel bad, I get stomachaches, then I start feeling chest tightness, and I end up with numb legs and fainting spells, struggling to breathe.
This has been happening to me all year, and I feel really awful.
My emotions are unstable; I wake up after sleeping for a short time, have strange dreams, and I can't sleep well.
I've lost 7 kilograms in less than a month and often have back pain.
I feel really irritated and have thoughts of suicide...
I don't know which department to see.
Should I see a psychiatrist or a pediatric mental health specialist? I really feel helpless and need your help.
Thank you.

Lily, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/06/28

Dr. Wang Zhenbang reply Psychiatry

Hello Lily, I believe that everyone encounters different interpersonal issues at various stages of life.
Some problems are easy to handle, while others are quite challenging or even unsolvable (we can only find ways to face and adapt to them).
When facing difficulties in interpersonal relationships, I suggest a few approaches to address them:
1.
Discuss with family members who have more life experience than you.
2.
Share and discuss with close friends (trusted allies).
3.
If you are still a student, seek assistance from your school's counseling services.
4.
Read beneficial literature; over time, this can enhance your ability to think critically and solve problems.
5.
Engage in regular physical exercise, which not only promotes physical health but also alleviates stress and helps maintain a positive mood.
I do not recommend seeing a doctor directly unless you have tried the above methods and your family, friends, or mentors suggest that you need to consult a physician.
If necessary, you can seek help from a psychiatrist (or psychosomatic specialist).
Depending on your age, if you truly need psychiatric assistance, you may also consider consulting a child and adolescent psychiatrist (typically for those under eighteen, although some hospitals may use different terminology).
Wishing you health and peace.

Dr.
Wang Zhengbang

Reply Date: 2016/06/28

More Info

Navigating mental health challenges during high school can be an incredibly difficult journey, especially when compounded by family dynamics, academic pressures, and social relationships. From your description, it sounds like you are experiencing a range of distressing emotions and physical symptoms that are affecting your daily life. It’s important to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle, and seeking help is a crucial step toward healing.

Firstly, the feelings of anxiety, sadness, and frustration you are experiencing are valid and deserve attention. The pressure from family, particularly in a blended family situation, can create a sense of instability and insecurity. It’s common for adolescents to feel overwhelmed by expectations, especially when they feel they cannot communicate their feelings effectively. The conflict with your father and the feelings of being misunderstood can lead to significant emotional distress. It’s essential to find a safe space where you can express these feelings without fear of judgment.

The relationship challenges you described, particularly with your ex-boyfriend, also seem to have left a lasting impact on your emotional well-being. It’s not uncommon for young people to feel heartbroken and confused after a breakup, especially when it involves complex dynamics like jealousy and emotional manipulation. The fact that you feel responsible for his happiness and are affected by his relationship with someone else indicates a tendency to prioritize others' feelings over your own, which can be detrimental to your mental health.

Your physical symptoms, such as chest tightness, fainting, and insomnia, are significant and should not be ignored. These can be manifestations of anxiety and stress, and they highlight the importance of addressing your mental health. The weight loss and physical discomfort you mentioned are concerning and suggest that your emotional state is having a tangible effect on your body. It’s crucial to take these signs seriously and seek professional help.

In terms of where to seek help, both a mental health professional specializing in child and adolescent psychiatry and a psychologist or counselor can provide the support you need. A psychiatrist can evaluate your symptoms and discuss potential treatment options, including therapy and medication if necessary. A psychologist or counselor can offer talk therapy, which can be incredibly beneficial in helping you process your feelings, develop coping strategies, and improve your communication skills.

It’s also important to consider reaching out to trusted adults in your life, such as a school counselor or a teacher, who can provide support and guidance. They can help you navigate the school environment and connect you with resources that can assist you in managing your mental health.

Lastly, remember that it’s okay to ask for help. You deserve to feel better and to have a support system that understands what you’re going through. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, practicing self-care, and surrounding yourself with supportive friends can also help improve your mental health. It’s a journey, and while it may feel overwhelming at times, taking small steps toward seeking help can lead to significant improvements in your overall well-being.

In conclusion, please take your feelings seriously and seek professional help. You are not alone in this, and there are people who want to support you through your challenges. Your mental health is important, and taking the step to reach out for help is a sign of strength.

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