Overcoming Introversion: Navigating Social Anxiety and Building Confidence

Introverted personality

Hello, doctor! Since childhood, I have been more introverted and lacking in self-confidence.
In front of strangers, I become very quiet, to the point where my classmates think I might have autism.
However, in front of my family, I am quite talkative.
I have talked several times with my family, familiar classmates, and school counselors, and they have shared their experiences with me.
Yet, I still haven't taken the first step.
I tend to make assumptions, thinking that my classmates dislike me, and I don't know how to start a conversation with others.
I also struggle to trust people, often feeling suspicious and overthinking situations.
As I prepare to enter college this year, I am very afraid of interacting with classmates and roommates.
There have been many times when I wanted to give up on attending school because I fear bad things might happen.
I don't know when it started, but when I get angry, I feel the urge to throw things, thinking it will help me calm down.
In my mind, I imagine fighting with someone, but it only makes me angrier.
Recently, my way of venting has caused distress for my family, and I want to try to change, but I don't know where to start.

Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/08/22

Dr. Su Zongwei reply Psychiatry

It may be anxiety disorder or social anxiety disorder.
You can seek nearby psychiatric outpatient services to analyze the reasons clearly.

Reply Date: 2016/08/22

More Info

Overcoming introversion and social anxiety can be a challenging journey, especially when you feel trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and fear of judgment. It’s important to understand that you are not alone in this struggle; many individuals experience similar feelings, particularly during transitional phases like starting college. Here are some strategies and insights that may help you navigate this journey and build your confidence.

Understanding Social Anxiety and Introversion
Social anxiety is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged or scrutinized by others. This can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as withdrawing from social interactions or feeling extremely uncomfortable in group settings. On the other hand, introversion is a personality trait where individuals may feel more energized by solitary activities rather than social interactions. While introversion itself is not a disorder, it can sometimes overlap with social anxiety, making it difficult to engage with others.

Building Confidence
1. Self-Awareness: Start by acknowledging your feelings and understanding that it’s okay to feel anxious in social situations. Journaling your thoughts can help you process your emotions and identify triggers that lead to anxiety.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking that your classmates dislike you or that you’ll embarrass yourself, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself for evidence supporting these beliefs. Often, you’ll find that they are unfounded.

3. Set Small Goals: Instead of overwhelming yourself with the idea of making friends or fitting in, set small, achievable goals. For instance, aim to initiate a brief conversation with a classmate or participate in a group discussion. Celebrate these small victories to build your confidence gradually.

4. Practice Social Skills: Role-playing with family or friends can help you practice conversations and responses in a safe environment. This can reduce anxiety when you find yourself in real-life situations.

5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, into your daily routine. These techniques can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety when facing social situations.

Seeking Support
1. Talk to a Professional: If your anxiety feels overwhelming, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can be effective in addressing social anxiety by helping you reframe negative thoughts and develop coping strategies.

2. Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly validating. Look for support groups, either in-person or online, where you can share your feelings and learn from others.

3. Engage with School Resources: Utilize your school’s counseling services. School counselors can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation, helping you navigate the social dynamics of college life.

Managing Anger and Frustration
It’s concerning that you’ve mentioned feeling the urge to break things when angry. This can be a sign of frustration that needs to be addressed. Here are some strategies to manage anger:
1. Identify Triggers: Reflect on what situations lead to your anger. Understanding these triggers can help you anticipate and manage your reactions.

2. Healthy Outlets: Instead of physical outbursts, find healthier ways to express your anger. This could include physical activities like running or engaging in creative outlets like drawing or writing.

3. Communication: When you feel angry, try to communicate your feelings calmly to those around you. Expressing your emotions can help you feel heard and understood, reducing the need for explosive reactions.

4. Seek Professional Help: If anger management becomes a significant issue, consider speaking with a therapist who can provide strategies tailored to your needs.

Conclusion
Overcoming introversion and social anxiety is a gradual process that requires patience and self-compassion. Remember that it’s okay to take small steps and that seeking help is a sign of strength. By implementing these strategies and utilizing available resources, you can build your confidence and improve your social interactions. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth, and know that you have the power to change your narrative.

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