Overcoming Social Anxiety in LGBTQ+ Youth: A Guide for Teens

Q: Overcoming Social Anxiety in LGBTQ+ Youth: A Guide for Teens

Alice： Try not to worry too much and focus on doing things you enjoy, like listening to music; these are all good attempts. <br>Often, it takes time to see the results of our efforts. <br>Sometimes, it can be difficult to completely eliminate stress or negative feelings, and in t

Social Anxiety Disorder and Homosexuality

I'm a high school freshman girl with a personality that's somewhat boyish, and I have short hair.
I have a crush on a girl in my class.
My seat is in the front row of the middle section, and the girl I like sits right behind me on my right.
During class, I often feel a lot of pressure, as if everyone is watching me, including the girl I like.
I feel very uncomfortable and constantly think about when class will end.
Although I have friends at school, I often wonder if they really like me or if they want to be friends with me.
I dread going to school every day, and it makes me sad to see the girl I like getting along well with others.
I'm happy when she is close to me, and her every move affects my mood.
I try hard not to focus on her, but I can't help but think about her.
I've attempted to ignore others' opinions, but I still can't manage it.
I've also tried doing things I enjoy, like listening to music, but it doesn't seem to help much.
What can I do to resolve this issue?

Alice, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/12/29

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Alice: Try not to worry too much and focus on doing things you enjoy, like listening to music; these are all good attempts.
Often, it takes time to see the results of our efforts.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to completely eliminate stress or negative feelings, and in those moments, a better approach is to try to accept and adapt.
For example, you can tell yourself, "I tend to get nervous, and I feel even more anxious when I see her, but I am kind to others, I mean no harm, and I respect others; this is who I am right now." Once you accept yourself, your behavior usually becomes more natural, and you can more easily accept your friends' true nature.

Reply Date: 2016/12/29

More Info

Overcoming social anxiety, especially as an LGBTQ+ youth, can be a challenging journey, but it is entirely possible with the right strategies and support. Your feelings of pressure and discomfort in social situations, particularly around someone you have feelings for, are common among adolescents, especially those navigating their sexual orientation in a school environment. Here are some strategies that may help you manage your social anxiety and improve your overall well-being.

1. Understanding Your Feelings
First, it’s essential to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is valid. Social anxiety can manifest as a fear of judgment or embarrassment, especially in situations where you feel scrutinized. Recognizing that these feelings are common among many teens, particularly those in the LGBTQ+ community, can help you feel less isolated. It’s important to remind yourself that everyone has insecurities, and it’s okay to feel nervous.

2. Practice Self-Compassion
Being kind to yourself is crucial. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling anxious or for your feelings towards your classmate, try to practice self-compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend in a similar situation. You might say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way; many people do, and I’m doing my best.”

3. Gradual Exposure
Consider gradually exposing yourself to social situations that make you anxious. Start small—perhaps by initiating a brief conversation with a classmate or participating in a group activity. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually increase the level of interaction. This technique, known as exposure therapy, can help desensitize you to the anxiety-provoking situations.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, can help reduce anxiety. These techniques can ground you in the present moment and help you manage overwhelming feelings. For instance, when you feel anxious in class, take a few deep breaths, focusing on inhaling and exhaling slowly. This can help calm your mind and body.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Often, social anxiety is fueled by negative thoughts about oneself and how others perceive you. Try to identify these thoughts and challenge them. For example, if you think, “Everyone is judging me,” ask yourself, “Is there evidence for this thought? What would I tell a friend who felt this way?” Reframing your thoughts can help reduce anxiety.

6. Seek Support
Don’t hesitate to reach out for support. This could be from friends, family, or a school counselor. Talking about your feelings can provide relief and help you gain perspective. If you feel comfortable, consider joining LGBTQ+ support groups, either in-person or online, where you can connect with others who may share similar experiences.

7. Focus on Your Interests
Engaging in activities you enjoy can provide a positive distraction from anxiety. Whether it’s music, art, sports, or any other hobby, immersing yourself in something you love can boost your mood and confidence. This can also be a way to meet new friends who share your interests.

8. Consider Professional Help
If your anxiety feels overwhelming or persistent, seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial. Therapists can provide coping strategies tailored to your needs and help you work through your feelings in a safe environment.

Conclusion
Navigating social anxiety as an LGBTQ+ youth can be daunting, but remember that you are not alone in this journey. By practicing self-compassion, gradually exposing yourself to social situations, challenging negative thoughts, and seeking support, you can take meaningful steps towards overcoming your anxiety. It’s essential to be patient with yourself; change takes time, and every small step counts. Embrace your uniqueness, and remember that your feelings are valid. You have the strength to navigate this challenging time, and there are resources and people ready to support you along the way.

Similar Q&A

Navigating Sexual Orientation and Social Anxiety: A Guide for Self-Discovery

Since childhood, I have always gotten along better with girls, having few friends of the opposite sex and no experience in dating. I have liked looking at pictures of women with large breasts since I was young, but not frequently; more often, I would feel nervous and my heart wou...

Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hello, classmate: First, I want to clarify that sexual orientation is innate and cannot be changed by external factors; it will not change based on what you do or do not do, so you do not need to worry that your behavior will alter your original orientation. Additionally, since y...

Overcoming Social Anxiety: A Journey from Isolation to Confidence

In elementary school, I had a good social circle in grades 1-4, but in grades 5-6, even though I participated in the dodgeball team, I was hesitant to talk to my classmates. Instead, I became good friends with the younger students. My social interactions in junior high were okay,...

Dr. Peng Liyun reply Psychiatry
Dear Sir/Madam, From your letter, I can sense the emotions and stress you are currently experiencing due to changes in your mood, thoughts, and daily life. It seems you may have been feeling down, which can significantly impact your emotional well-being and daily activities, esp...

Struggling with Identity: Navigating Anxiety and Self-Perception

In elementary school, I was chubby and not exactly bullied, but I had a bit of a princess complex, feeling somewhat on the fringes. During the summer before middle school, I dieted and tried to learn the behaviors of popular kids, which helped me make many friends; that was my fi...

Dr. Zhang Fangrong reply Psychiatry
Dear Sir/Madam, From your description, I can sense your emotions and anxiety. However, I also notice that you have a clear understanding of your thoughts and feelings, which is crucial for future changes. The emotions you mentioned are likely concerns shared by many, such as the...

Understanding Social Withdrawal: Overcoming Anxiety and Building Connections

I have researched online and found that my situation resembles social withdrawal disorder. I am afraid to initiate conversations and interactions with others. I fear rejection and worry about being criticized behind my back. I believe that if I take the initiative to engage with ...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello Qianqian: Your situation may indeed be related to social anxiety. It's important to be patient, as this condition has the potential to improve. You have your own goals and dreams, and you can truly appreciate and understand the hard work your mother has put in. However...