I'm very worried..?
I feel like I might be seriously ill.
😭 I often think that others might not like me.
For example, recently when I was training new employees, I found myself wondering if they thought I was impressive for knowing these things.
Or when I go out, I am very concerned about how others perceive me.
If someone has a sour expression, I think, "Do they dislike me?" When I go out to eat or get my hair done, I worry that the staff might not like me or talk about me behind my back.
😵 Also, the last time I went for a prenatal check-up, I sat waiting for a long time and thought, "Do the other pregnant women think I'm taking up too much space?" 😕 Just a few days ago, when I returned to my hometown and saw many relatives and friends, I suddenly thought while I was in the restroom, "Are they talking about me behind my back?" 🙁 Is this considered paranoia? 😣 Or do I lack self-confidence? I don't understand why I feel this way.
😭 I'm really worried about it.
Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/10/15
Dr. Wang Yazhen reply Psychiatry
Hello, from your description, it seems that you often have excessive worries or are particularly concerned about how others perceive you.
Whether the level of your anxiety has reached the point of an anxiety disorder or other conditions needs to be assessed through a personal evaluation by a psychiatrist, who may also arrange for further psychological assessments to provide you with a more accurate diagnosis and treatment recommendations.
I suggest that you visit a mental health specialist or psychiatrist in person to discuss appropriate management options with the doctor.
Thank you!
Reply Date: 2017/10/15
More Info
It sounds like you are experiencing significant anxiety related to how others perceive you, which can be quite distressing. This kind of anxiety is not uncommon, and many people struggle with similar feelings of self-doubt and concern about others' opinions. Let's explore this further.
From what you've described, it seems that you are often preoccupied with thoughts about how others view you in various situations. For instance, when you are teaching new employees, you worry about whether they think you are impressive or competent. Similarly, when you are out in public, you feel anxious about the reactions of those around you, whether it's the staff at a restaurant or other pregnant women in a waiting room. This constant concern about others' opinions can lead to a cycle of overthinking and self-doubt.
This behavior can be linked to a few psychological concepts. One possibility is social anxiety, which involves an intense fear of social situations where you might be judged or scrutinized by others. People with social anxiety often worry excessively about being embarrassed or humiliated, leading them to avoid certain situations or feel very uncomfortable in them.
Another aspect to consider is the concept of "mind reading," where you assume you know what others are thinking about you, often in a negative light. For example, you might think that if someone has a stern expression, they must dislike you, even though their expression could be due to a variety of reasons unrelated to you. This cognitive distortion can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and lead to a negative feedback loop where your worries about others' perceptions reinforce your anxiety.
It's also important to recognize that these feelings may stem from a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. When you doubt your worth or abilities, it can lead to an increased sensitivity to how others perceive you. You may feel that you need to earn their approval or that their opinions define your value as a person.
To address these feelings, consider the following strategies:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This therapeutic approach can help you identify and challenge negative thought patterns. A therapist can work with you to reframe your thoughts about how others perceive you and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
2. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present and reduce anxiety about what others might think. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises can help you manage anxiety in the moment.
3. Self-Compassion: Learning to be kinder to yourself can help alleviate the pressure you feel regarding others' opinions. Recognize that everyone has insecurities and that it's okay to not be perfect.
4. Gradual Exposure: If certain situations trigger your anxiety, consider gradually exposing yourself to these situations in a controlled manner. Start small and work your way up to more challenging scenarios, allowing yourself to build confidence over time.
5. Seek Professional Help: If these feelings are overwhelming and significantly impacting your daily life, it may be beneficial to speak with a mental health professional. They can provide tailored support and strategies to help you navigate your anxiety.
In conclusion, while it can feel very isolating to struggle with these thoughts and feelings, you are not alone. Many people experience similar anxieties about social interactions and how they are perceived by others. By understanding the underlying causes and implementing strategies to manage your anxiety, you can work towards feeling more secure in yourself and less affected by others' opinions. Remember, it's a journey, and seeking help is a strong and positive step forward.
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