Navigating Emotional Turmoil: Coping with Betrayal and Depression - Psychiatry

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At the age of 15 or 16, I met my current boyfriend, and we have been together for almost two years.
About a year ago, I started to discover that he has repeatedly deceived me and, during our arguments, would go to motels with other girls.
Even though I expressed my disapproval of his actions, he continued to do them, often using deceitful methods.
When I caught him, he would apologize and plead with me, and I would soften, which led to these incidents occurring more frequently.
He would always promise to change.
This has caused me to feel increasingly depressed, often crying, and recently, these feelings have become more frequent.
No matter where I am, I suddenly feel overwhelmed by sadness, sinking into despair, and I feel worthless, believing that my inadequacies have led him to treat me this way, which only worsens my situation.
I am a nursing student and will be starting my internship in a few months.
I am trying to ensure that my emotional state does not affect my life and daily routine, but these feelings have been occurring daily, leading to moments of depression.

Alva, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/06/14

Dr. Liu Shikai reply Psychiatry


Hello Alva,
From your message, it seems that you have experienced repeated breaches of trust in this intimate relationship, which has had a significant impact on your emotions.
I recommend that you first observe your emotional state.
If you find that your condition does not improve, and you experience significant effects on your sleep and appetite, recurrent negative thoughts, impaired concentration, or daily functioning, and even have thoughts or behaviors related to self-harm or suicide, it is advisable to seek an evaluation from a psychiatrist to determine if you have reached the level of depression and whether treatment is necessary.

If your low mood occurs intermittently and you do not have any of the aforementioned symptoms, I suggest connecting with your school's counseling system for support, and reconsidering your stance and coping strategies within this relationship.
Dr.
Liu Shikai

Reply Date: 2020/06/14

More Info


Navigating emotional turmoil, especially in the context of betrayal and depression, can be incredibly challenging. It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of emotional distress due to your relationship with your boyfriend, who has repeatedly betrayed your trust. This situation is understandably causing you to feel sad, anxious, and even worthless at times. It's important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid and that you are not alone in this experience.

Firstly, it's crucial to recognize that being in a relationship where trust is repeatedly broken can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. The cycle of betrayal followed by apologies can create a toxic dynamic, leading to emotional instability. You mentioned that you often find yourself crying and feeling overwhelmed by these emotions, which is a common response to such distressing situations. It's essential to allow yourself to feel these emotions rather than suppress them, as this can lead to further emotional turmoil.

One effective way to cope with these feelings is to establish healthy boundaries in your relationship. It may be beneficial to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how his actions have affected you. Expressing your feelings can sometimes lead to a better understanding between partners. However, if he continues to betray your trust despite your discussions, it might be time to consider whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

In addition to addressing the relationship, it’s important to take care of your mental health. Engaging in self-care activities can help alleviate some of the emotional pain you are experiencing. This could include physical activities like exercise, which has been shown to improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression. Finding hobbies that you enjoy or spending time with supportive friends and family can also provide a much-needed distraction and emotional support.

If you find that your feelings of sadness and worthlessness persist, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the tools and strategies to cope with your emotions effectively. They can help you explore the underlying issues contributing to your feelings and work with you to develop healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy can also provide a safe space for you to express your feelings without judgment.

Regarding your concern about how to manage your emotions while preparing for your upcoming internship, it’s essential to prioritize your mental health. Consider setting aside time each day to focus on self-care and relaxation. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help ground you and reduce anxiety. Additionally, maintaining a routine can provide structure and stability during this tumultuous time.

Lastly, regarding your question about the costs of seeing a mental health professional, it varies by location and insurance coverage. In many cases, mental health services may be partially covered by health insurance, but it’s essential to check with your provider for specifics. Some clinics also offer sliding scale fees based on income, which can make therapy more accessible.

In summary, navigating emotional turmoil due to betrayal and depression is a complex process that requires self-compassion and proactive steps toward healing. Establishing boundaries in your relationship, engaging in self-care, and seeking professional help can significantly improve your emotional well-being. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship that respects and values you, and taking care of your mental health is a crucial step in achieving that.

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