The value of existence?
Hello Dr.
Wu: I have been thinking about whether my existence is necessary.
My parents give me the impression that it doesn't matter whether I am here or not, as there are other outstanding siblings in the family.
At work, I can be quickly replaced, and there are many talented individuals who are better than me in my field.
My friends would also find other friends if I weren't around.
Given this, do I have a reason to exist? I increasingly feel that my existence has no value.
How can I overcome this blind spot? Thank you for your patient response!
Niming, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/07/06
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Hello, everyone: Each person has intrinsic value, just waiting for you to discover it.
Let us work together to identify our worth.
If you find it particularly challenging to uncover, I recommend seeking psychological therapy where a professional psychologist can discuss this with you.
Dr.
Wu En-Liang
Reply Date: 2020/07/06
More Info
Hello, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It’s clear that you’re grappling with deep-seated feelings of worthlessness and questioning your existence. These feelings can be incredibly challenging to navigate, especially when they stem from perceived comparisons with others, particularly within your family and social circles.
First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge that feelings of worthlessness are not uncommon, and many people experience similar thoughts at various points in their lives. However, it’s crucial to understand that your value as a person is not determined by your achievements, your family’s expectations, or how easily you can be replaced in a job or social setting. Each individual has intrinsic worth that is independent of external validation.
From a psychological perspective, feelings of worthlessness often arise from negative self-perceptions and comparisons with others. When you feel overshadowed by siblings or colleagues, it can lead to a distorted view of your own abilities and contributions. It’s essential to recognize that everyone has unique strengths and qualities that contribute to the richness of human experience. Just because someone else may excel in certain areas does not diminish your own value or the unique contributions you bring to the table.
One effective way to combat these feelings is through self-affirmation and self-compassion. Start by identifying your strengths, no matter how small they may seem. Reflect on moments when you have made a positive impact, whether in your personal relationships, at work, or within your community. Keeping a journal where you regularly note down your achievements, positive feedback from others, or moments of kindness can help reinforce your sense of self-worth.
Additionally, consider the concept of “existential value.” This idea suggests that your existence has meaning simply because you are a part of the human experience. You have the capacity to connect with others, to feel emotions, and to contribute to the world in ways that may not always be immediately visible. Your presence can have a ripple effect on those around you, even if it feels insignificant at times.
Engaging in activities that promote personal growth and fulfillment can also help you find value in your existence. This could involve pursuing hobbies, volunteering, or connecting with others who share your interests. Building a supportive network can provide you with a sense of belonging and remind you that you are valued for who you are, not just what you do.
If these feelings persist, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with tools to challenge negative thought patterns and help you develop a healthier self-image. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for example, is particularly effective in addressing feelings of worthlessness by helping individuals reframe their thoughts and beliefs about themselves.
Lastly, remember that it’s okay to feel lost or uncertain about your value at times. Life is a journey, and self-discovery is a continuous process. Be patient with yourself as you navigate these feelings, and know that seeking help and support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are not alone in this struggle, and there is hope for finding meaning and value in your existence.
Take care, and I wish you all the best on your journey toward self-acceptance and understanding.
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