Building Confidence Amidst Negative Self-Perception: A Guide

Q: Building Confidence Amidst Negative Self-Perception: A Guide

Hello, online friend： It's better to have less contact with relatives who often bring negative energy! As for your feelings of pain and thoughts of wanting to end your life, I am more concerned about the possibility of depression. <br>I recommend calling the 1925 mental health ho

It is difficult to have confidence?

Hello Doctor: My relatives often describe me in negative ways, such as saying I've become old and unattractive, that I'll be lonely for life, that I won't get married, that I'm incompetent, overweight, lazy, and ugly.
They frequently say these things, claiming it's for my own good, but it makes me feel very sad.
It seems like I have no positive qualities, and they tell me to have confidence while describing me like this.
It's truly painful, and I often think that it would be easier to just end it all.
What should I do?

Niming, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/02/07

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

Hello, online friend: It's better to have less contact with relatives who often bring negative energy! As for your feelings of pain and thoughts of wanting to end your life, I am more concerned about the possibility of depression.
I recommend calling the 1925 mental health hotline or seeking treatment at a mental health facility as soon as possible.
Many people are willing to help you.
Wishing you all the best! Dr.
Wu Enliang

Reply Date: 2021/02/07

More Info

Building confidence in the face of negative self-perception, especially when it is exacerbated by the words and attitudes of those close to us, can be a challenging journey. It is essential to recognize that the way we perceive ourselves can be heavily influenced by external feedback, particularly from family members or loved ones. When these messages are predominantly negative, they can create a toxic environment that undermines self-esteem and fosters feelings of worthlessness.

Understanding the Impact of Negative Feedback
The comments you receive from family, such as being labeled as "ugly," "useless," or "lazy," can lead to a distorted self-image. These negative affirmations can become internalized, leading to a cycle of self-doubt and despair. It's crucial to understand that these statements often reflect the speaker's insecurities or issues rather than an accurate assessment of your worth. People who criticize often do so out of their own fears and frustrations, and their words do not define who you are.

The Importance of Self-Compassion
To counteract the negative messages you've received, it is vital to practice self-compassion. This involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend in a similar situation. Start by acknowledging your feelings of hurt and frustration without judgment. Recognize that it is okay to feel pain from the words of others, but it is equally important to remind yourself that you are deserving of love and respect.

Identifying Your Strengths and Values
One effective way to build confidence is to focus on your strengths and values. Take some time to reflect on what you are good at and what you enjoy. This could be anything from artistic talents, academic achievements, or personal qualities like kindness and resilience. Write these down and keep them visible as a daily reminder of your worth. Engaging in activities that align with your strengths can also help reinforce a positive self-image.

Setting Boundaries with Negative Influences
If family members are consistently bringing you down, it may be necessary to set boundaries. This doesn't mean cutting them out of your life entirely, but rather limiting the time you spend with them or steering conversations away from topics that trigger negative feelings. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift you and recognize your worth. Building a network of positive influences can significantly impact your self-esteem.

Seeking Professional Help
If feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm persist, it is crucial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide support and guidance tailored to your specific situation. They can help you develop coping strategies, challenge negative thought patterns, and work through the emotional pain caused by negative feedback. Therapy can be a safe space to explore your feelings and begin to rebuild your self-esteem.

Practicing Positive Affirmations
Incorporating positive affirmations into your daily routine can also be beneficial. Start each day by affirming your worth and capabilities. Phrases like "I am enough," "I deserve love and respect," and "I am capable of achieving my goals" can help rewire your brain to focus on the positive aspects of yourself rather than the negative.

Engaging in Self-Care
Lastly, prioritize self-care. Engage in activities that make you feel good, whether it's exercising, pursuing hobbies, or spending time with friends. Taking care of your physical and mental health can improve your overall well-being and contribute to a more positive self-image.

In conclusion, building confidence amidst negative self-perception is a multifaceted process that requires patience and effort. By practicing self-compassion, identifying your strengths, setting boundaries, seeking professional help, using positive affirmations, and engaging in self-care, you can begin to shift your mindset and foster a healthier self-image. Remember, you are worthy of love and respect, and it is never too late to start believing in yourself.

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