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Question: I have a solitary personality and enjoy being alone, often talking and laughing to myself.
How can I survive in society? Additionally, my interests often exceed those of my peers, and I frequently ask questions that others find strange.
As a result, I may become reluctant to talk to others and prefer to engage in monologues.
However, sometimes my thoughts are not accurate.
Most psychiatric medications are covered by health insurance, but talk therapy often requires out-of-pocket expenses, starting at around a thousand dollars per session.
After talking to someone for a while, they may find my conversation boring, which can lead to a loss of confidence.
Perhaps prolonged interactions can lead to conflicts.
At this moment, I have mixed feelings.
Could you please provide some advice, doctor?
Bu, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/03/28
Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hello! The skills for interacting with others cannot be summarized in just a few sentences.
I recommend that you read books related to interpersonal relationships and seek a referral from a physician for psychological therapy that is covered by health insurance, which should generally be available at most hospitals.
Wishing you peace and good health!
Reply Date: 2021/03/28
More Info
Navigating social life with social anxiety can be a challenging journey, especially for individuals who identify as introverted or have unique interests that may not align with those of their peers. It's important to recognize that social anxiety is a common condition that affects many people, and there are ways to manage it while still engaging with the world around you.
First, it's essential to understand that your feelings of discomfort in social situations are valid. Social anxiety can stem from various factors, including past experiences, personality traits, and even biological predispositions. The fact that you enjoy solitary activities and have interests that may be considered unconventional is not inherently negative. In fact, embracing your individuality can lead to fulfilling experiences, provided you find the right environments and people who appreciate your uniqueness.
Here are some strategies to help you navigate social interactions while managing social anxiety:
1. Start Small: Begin by engaging in low-pressure social situations. This could mean attending small gatherings or participating in activities that interest you, where the focus is not solely on socializing. For example, joining a book club or a hobby group can provide a structured environment where conversations can naturally arise around shared interests.
2. Practice Active Listening: When you do engage in conversations, focus on being an active listener. This means paying attention to what others are saying and responding thoughtfully. This can help take the pressure off you to constantly come up with topics to discuss and can make the interaction feel more balanced.
3. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that not every social interaction will lead to a deep connection, and that's okay. It's normal for conversations to sometimes feel awkward or for interests to not align perfectly. Setting realistic expectations can help reduce the pressure you feel in social situations.
4. Seek Professional Support: While medication can be helpful for managing symptoms of social anxiety, therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can provide you with tools to cope with anxiety and improve your social skills. Although therapy can be costly, many universities offer counseling services at reduced rates for students. Additionally, some therapists may offer sliding scale fees based on income.
5. Engage in Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings about social interactions. Journaling can be a helpful tool for processing your experiences and identifying patterns in your social behavior. This can also help you recognize when your thoughts may be skewed or overly critical.
6. Connect with Like-Minded Individuals: Look for communities or groups that share your interests, even if they are outside your immediate age group. Online forums, social media groups, or local clubs can provide a platform to connect with others who appreciate your unique perspective.
7. Build Confidence Gradually: Celebrate small victories in social situations, no matter how minor they may seem. Each positive interaction can help build your confidence over time. Remember that everyone has their own insecurities, and most people are more focused on themselves than on judging others.
8. Consider Mindfulness Practices: Techniques such as mindfulness meditation can help you manage anxiety and improve your overall emotional well-being. These practices encourage you to stay present in the moment and can reduce the tendency to overthink social interactions.
9. Communicate Openly: If you feel comfortable, consider sharing your experiences with trusted friends or family members. They may not fully understand what you're going through, but opening up can foster support and understanding.
In conclusion, navigating social life with social anxiety requires patience and self-compassion. It's important to recognize that your interests and personality traits are part of what makes you unique. By taking small steps, seeking support, and practicing self-reflection, you can gradually build your confidence and find ways to connect with others that feel authentic to you. Remember, it's okay to take your time and prioritize your mental health as you explore social interactions.
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