Navigating Mental Health Challenges in College: Seeking Guidance and Support

May I ask a question?

Hello, Dr.
Tang.
It's been a long time! I have some questions that I really don't know how to handle.

1.
I am currently studying in a technical program for electrical engineering.
In my class, I have come to realize that there is always someone better.
When I was in night school, I was always among the top three students.
Now, I feel that it is impossible to stand out in my class, even though I know that the main focus should be on mastering the skills.
However, my mind keeps wanting to surpass others! I am aware that I have a mental illness, so I obviously need to spend more time studying than others.
2.
Regarding my interpersonal relationships: I am generally a quiet person.
I live in the school dormitory, and my classmates often dislike me.
When it's time to wake them up, they think I am disturbing them, and when I turn on the lights, they say I am affecting their sleep.
However, when I study, they play music and sometimes even watch adult films.
Because of my condition, I completely fail to perceive their emotions and various situations, but I wonder if they have no shortcomings at all? It is my fault if I disturb them, but is it okay for them to disturb others? I know communication is important, but they always seem to think I am...
(I don't know).
I really want to cry, but I can't let them know I have a mental illness.
Right now, we are in a "separate" state.
I want to ask my advisor for help, and I am considering transferring schools, but I don't know what to do.
Dr.
Tang, can you please tell me what I should do?

Xiao Jie, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/09/20

Dr. Tang Xinbei reply Psychiatry

Dear Xiao Jie,
Long time no see! I'm glad to hear that you are currently attending school and interacting with people.
It seems that you are having some difficulties and unpleasant experiences with your classmates? Living in a school dormitory means you have to share space with people from different backgrounds and habits, which requires some time for mutual compromise and coexistence.
Since you have a mental health condition, you may be more sensitive to environmental changes and find it harder to adapt.
I suggest you try to communicate with your roommates first, using the school's dormitory regulations as a guideline.
You could establish some ground rules together, such as setting a latest lights-out time, a latest wake-up time, a cleaning schedule for the room, and keeping the volume of the TV and music at a reasonable level (it’s advisable to use headphones for watching TV and listening to music).

If changes cannot be made, you might inquire with the school about the possibility of changing rooms.
If you still face difficulties, it may be a good idea to talk to a teacher for assistance.
Wishing you peace, joy, and success in your studies!

Reply Date: 2003/09/20

More Info

Navigating mental health challenges in college can be incredibly daunting, especially when you feel overwhelmed by academic pressures and interpersonal relationships. Your situation reflects a common struggle among students, particularly those who have previously excelled academically and now find themselves in a more competitive environment. Here are some insights and recommendations based on your concerns.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge the feelings of inadequacy and pressure you are experiencing. Transitioning from a high school environment where you were among the top students to a college setting where you feel outmatched can be disheartening. This phenomenon, often referred to as "imposter syndrome," can lead to feelings of self-doubt and anxiety. It’s crucial to remember that your worth is not solely defined by your academic performance. Focus on your personal growth and the skills you are acquiring, rather than comparing yourself to others. Setting realistic goals for yourself can help alleviate some of the pressure. Instead of striving to be the best in the class, aim to improve your understanding of the material and develop your skills at your own pace.

Regarding your interpersonal relationships, living in a dormitory can be challenging, especially when you feel misunderstood or isolated. It’s not uncommon for students to have different lifestyles and study habits, which can lead to conflicts. While it’s understandable that you feel frustrated by your roommates' behavior, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy. They may not be aware of how their actions affect you, just as you may not fully grasp their perspectives. Open communication is key. Consider having a calm and honest conversation with your roommates about your study needs and how you can all coexist more harmoniously. Expressing your feelings without placing blame can foster a more supportive environment.

If you feel that your mental health is significantly impacting your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. Consulting with a mental health professional can provide you with coping strategies tailored to your specific situation. They can help you work through feelings of anxiety, depression, or any other mental health concerns you may have. Many colleges offer counseling services that are free or low-cost for students, making it easier to access support.

Additionally, if you are considering transferring schools, take the time to reflect on what you hope to achieve by making that change. Will a new environment truly alleviate your concerns, or are there underlying issues that need to be addressed regardless of where you study? Sometimes, the act of changing schools can provide a fresh start, but it’s essential to ensure that you are also addressing your mental health needs.

Lastly, remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many students face similar challenges, and reaching out to peers or support groups can help you feel less isolated. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can be incredibly validating and can provide you with new perspectives on your situation.

In summary, focus on your personal growth rather than comparisons, communicate openly with your roommates, seek professional help if needed, and consider the implications of transferring schools carefully. Mental health is a journey, and taking proactive steps can lead to significant improvements in your well-being. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and doing so is a sign of strength.

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