How to help a friend?
Finally, summer vacation has arrived, and I have survived a terrible semester at a university in central Taiwan.
There is a classmate in my dorm who is quite strange; his mood swings are extreme.
He often yells when he sees something he dislikes, which leaves everyone confused and makes us want to avoid him.
He often ends up alone and doesn't know who to talk to, staying up very late at night.
Sometimes he even screams and claims that there are ghosts in the dorm, which makes everyone feel anxious.
Is he sick? How can we help him? I'm really worried about him continuing to live with us next semester.
Is there really a ghost in the dorm, or does he have a mental health issue? Thank you.
shen, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2007/07/04
Dr. Zheng Jingming reply Psychiatry
Shen: If this continues for an entire semester, it is likely that your classmate is unwell.
You might suggest that their family take them to a psychiatric outpatient clinic for evaluation and treatment.
Dr.
Cheng Ching-Ming, Department of Psychiatry, Chiayi Hospital.
Reply Date: 2007/07/04
More Info
Supporting a friend who is experiencing emotional turmoil, especially in a college setting, can be challenging yet crucial for their well-being. Based on your description, it seems your roommate is exhibiting signs of significant emotional distress, which may indicate underlying mental health issues. Here are some steps you can take to support your friend effectively:
1. Recognize the Signs
It's important to acknowledge the behaviors you've observed. Your roommate's emotional volatility, late-night outbursts, and feelings of paranoia (like believing there are ghosts) could be symptoms of anxiety, depression, or another mental health condition. Understanding that these behaviors are not just quirks but potential cries for help is the first step in providing support.
2. Approach with Empathy
When you decide to talk to your roommate, approach the conversation with empathy and without judgment. Choose a calm moment to express your concerns. You might say something like, "I've noticed you've been feeling really upset lately, and I'm worried about you. Is there anything you want to talk about?" This opens the door for them to share their feelings without feeling pressured.
3. Encourage Professional Help
If your roommate is open to it, gently suggest that they consider speaking with a mental health professional. Many colleges offer counseling services that are free or low-cost for students. You can offer to help them make an appointment or even accompany them if they feel anxious about going alone. Emphasize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
4. Create a Supportive Environment
Try to foster a supportive living environment. This could mean setting up a routine that includes shared activities, such as studying together, watching movies, or even going for walks. Engaging in positive activities can help alleviate some of the emotional burden and provide a sense of normalcy.
5. Set Boundaries
While it’s important to be supportive, it’s equally crucial to take care of your own mental health. If your roommate's behavior becomes overwhelming or negatively impacts your well-being, it’s okay to set boundaries. You can express that you care about them but also need to take care of yourself. For example, you might say, "I want to be here for you, but I also need some time to recharge."
6. Educate Yourself
Understanding mental health issues can help you provide better support. Familiarize yourself with common mental health conditions, their symptoms, and effective coping strategies. This knowledge can empower you to respond more effectively to your roommate's needs.
7. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Help your roommate explore healthy coping strategies. This might include mindfulness practices, exercise, or engaging in hobbies they enjoy. Encourage them to express their feelings through journaling or art, which can be therapeutic.
8. Be Patient
Recovery from emotional turmoil takes time. Be patient with your roommate and understand that there will be ups and downs. Celebrate small victories, such as days when they seem happier or more engaged.
9. Know When to Seek Help
If your roommate's behavior escalates or if they express thoughts of self-harm or suicide, it’s crucial to take immediate action. Contact a mental health professional, campus counseling services, or emergency services if necessary. Your friend's safety is the top priority.
Conclusion
Supporting a friend through emotional turmoil requires compassion, understanding, and sometimes tough love. By encouraging them to seek professional help, creating a supportive environment, and taking care of your own mental health, you can play a vital role in their journey toward healing. Remember, you are not alone in this; many resources are available on college campuses to assist students in need.
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