Sexual Orientation: Am I Gay, Bisexual, or Just Confused? - Psychiatry

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Sexual orientation issues


Hello, Doctor: I also like girls, but sometimes I find myself attracted to handsome guys as well.
However, I hope my sexual orientation is considered normal.
Is it possible for someone like me to be gay or bisexual? Are there any methods to change sexual orientation?

Xiao Xin, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2009/12/12

Dr. Chen Zhicai reply Psychiatry


Hello, Xiao Xin: Issues related to sexual orientation cannot be determined by any assessment; being gay or bisexual is not considered a "disease" or "abnormality" in psychopathology.
What is more important is that the person you like also likes you, and how to manage your life well! If you are truly troubled, consider discussing it with a physician during a consultation.
Best, Dr.
Zhi Cai.

Reply Date: 2009/12/12

More Info


Understanding your sexual orientation can be a complex and sometimes confusing journey. It's important to recognize that sexual orientation is not a binary concept; it exists on a spectrum. Many people experience attractions to multiple genders, and this is completely normal. Based on your description, it seems you may be experiencing feelings that could align with either bisexuality or fluidity in your sexual orientation.

Firstly, let's clarify some terms. Bisexuality refers to the attraction to both males and females, while homosexuality refers to attraction to the same sex. It's also worth noting that some individuals identify as pansexual, which means they are attracted to people regardless of gender. Your experiences of being attracted to both men and women suggest that you might fall somewhere on this spectrum.

It's essential to understand that having attractions to different genders does not mean there is something "abnormal" about you. Sexual orientation is a natural part of who we are, and it can be fluid over time. Many people go through phases of questioning their orientation, especially during adolescence and early adulthood, when they are exploring their identities.

Regarding your concern about "correcting" your sexual orientation, it's crucial to emphasize that sexual orientation is not something that can or should be changed. Attempts to alter one's sexual orientation, often referred to as "conversion therapy," have been widely discredited by medical and psychological organizations due to their ineffectiveness and potential harm. Instead of trying to change who you are, it may be more beneficial to focus on self-acceptance and understanding your feelings.

If you find yourself struggling with your feelings or if they are causing you distress, seeking support from a mental health professional can be incredibly helpful. A therapist can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings, help you understand your identity better, and work through any confusion or anxiety you may have. They can also assist you in building self-esteem and self-acceptance, which are vital components of mental well-being.

In addition to professional support, consider reaching out to LGBTQ+ communities or support groups. Engaging with others who have had similar experiences can provide validation and help you feel less isolated. Many people find comfort in sharing their stories and learning from others in the community.

Lastly, remember that your journey of self-discovery is unique to you. It’s okay to take your time to explore your feelings and attractions. There is no rush to label yourself, and it's perfectly fine to be in a state of exploration. Embrace the process, and allow yourself the grace to grow and learn about your identity at your own pace.

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