Overcoming Loneliness: A Journey Through Mental Health Struggles

I can no longer bear it?

Doctor, I feel like my life has been really miserable.
I'm 32 years old and will be 33 next year.
I have no job, and no one is willing to support or encourage me.
In school, I was often bullied; people would exclude me, and they were afraid to talk to me.
No girls wanted to interact with me.
I wasn't born with a disability; I used to be a lively person who loved making friends.
But every time I went to school, my classmates ignored me, and I had no friends.
I was always alone, which made me very sad and desolate.
In college, I often had to work alone, which was really painful.
It felt like everyone had conspired to make me feel worthless.
When I walk down the street, no one dares to look me in the eye.
Now at 32, my memory has become very poor; I forget things that just happened, and sometimes I can't even recall them at all.

As the eldest son in my family, I feel a lot of pressure.
My family often urges me to find a girlfriend, but I really want to have one.
However, every time I approach, the girls seem scared and run away, making it impossible for me to connect with the opposite sex.
I want to clarify that I am a very easygoing person.
Why do I have to be treated with such a lack of dignity? Girls dislike me, and no one wants to hire me.
It feels like the whole world has conspired to make me live a lonely life.
I've developed a bad temper and often think negatively, even though that's not how I want to feel.
Sometimes I get stuck in my thoughts and even hit my own head to try to push away the bad thoughts.
Doctor, what should I do? Please help me!

A Zhe, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2013/12/29

Dr. Su Zongwei reply Psychiatry

It seems that you are under a lot of stress, which may be significant enough to lead to depression.
I recommend seeking assistance from a psychiatric outpatient clinic.
Take care, and let the doctor understand your situation; they will provide you with appropriate advice.

Reply Date: 2013/12/29

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time, and I want to acknowledge the pain and loneliness you are feeling. Your experiences of bullying, social isolation, and the pressure from family can be overwhelming, and it's understandable that you are struggling with your mental health as a result.
From what you’ve described, it seems you may be experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety, which can manifest as feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and a pervasive sense of loneliness. These feelings can be exacerbated by past experiences of bullying and social rejection, leading to a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions that can be hard to break. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are not a reflection of your worth as a person, but rather a response to the difficult circumstances you have faced.

The first step towards overcoming these feelings is to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you understand your feelings, develop coping strategies, and, if necessary, prescribe medication to help manage your symptoms. Therapy can be particularly beneficial, as it provides a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings, and to work through the trauma of your past experiences.

In addition to professional help, there are several self-care strategies you can implement to help improve your mental health:
1. Build a Support Network: While it may feel like no one is there for you, reaching out to friends, family, or support groups can help. Sometimes, people may not realize you need support, so expressing your feelings can open up avenues for connection.

2. Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Try to find activities that bring you joy or relaxation, whether it’s reading, drawing, or even taking a walk. Engaging in hobbies can provide a sense of accomplishment and distract from negative thoughts.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness techniques can help ground you in the present moment and reduce feelings of anxiety. There are many apps and online resources available to guide you through meditation practices.

4. Set Small Goals: Start with small, achievable goals each day. This could be as simple as getting out of bed at a certain time or taking a short walk. Achieving these small goals can help build your confidence over time.

5. Limit Negative Influences: If certain environments or people contribute to your feelings of isolation or negativity, it may be helpful to distance yourself from them. Surround yourself with positive influences whenever possible.

6. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions. It can also help you identify patterns in your thinking that you may want to address in therapy.

7. Physical Activity: Regular exercise can have a profound impact on mental health. It releases endorphins, which can improve your mood and reduce feelings of anxiety.

8. Nutrition and Sleep: Pay attention to your diet and sleep patterns. A balanced diet and adequate sleep can significantly affect your mood and energy levels.

9. Consider Volunteering: Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and connection. Look for local organizations where you can contribute your time and skills.

10. Be Patient with Yourself: Healing takes time, and it’s important to be gentle with yourself as you navigate these feelings. Progress may be slow, but every small step counts.

Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, and there are people and resources available to help you. It’s commendable that you are reaching out for support, and taking that first step is crucial. Please consider contacting a mental health professional who can provide you with the care and guidance you need to start feeling better. Your life is valuable, and there is hope for a brighter future.

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