Navigating Career Choices: A Student's Dilemma in Mental Health - Psychiatry

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The issue of future employment?


Hello, doctor.
I am currently a senior high school student facing issues related to further education.
Since I was young, I have dreamed of becoming a police officer or a pharmacist, but my family opposes me pursuing these careers.
Later, I told them I wanted to be a flight attendant, and they criticized me for choosing jobs that they believe have no future and are dangerous.
I dislike when parents make decisions for their children; I want to take control of my own life.
However, in the face of my family's firm stance, I feel powerless.
In junior high, to avoid upsetting my parents, I gave up my dream of studying nursing in a vocational school and chose to attend a prestigious high school instead, spending two aimless years there.
Moving forward, I want to carve my own path.
I hope they can respect my decisions, but I don't know how to convince them.
They have always hoped I would go into business, but I have almost zero interest in that field.
I have listened to my guidance counselor's suggestions, but it is easier said than done.
Finding a way to satisfy everyone seems too difficult for me, so I would like to hear your opinion, doctor...

Nìmíng, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/08/05

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry


Hello, your question seems to be more related to career planning rather than a mental health issue.
However, I would like to share my personal insights.
You are only seventeen years old and should still be in school; it may take several more years before you enter the workforce.
It is certainly best to discover your interests early, prepare in advance, and plan ahead.
However, most people find a job that truly suits them and settle down only after being in the workforce for a while.
There is no need to rush at this moment; what your parents say can be taken into consideration, but it is not yet a time when you must make a decision.
It seems that your thoughts will likely change in the future.
As you mentioned in your question, your interests have already changed several times—police officer, pharmacist, nursing, flight attendant—each of these professions requires a different educational background.
During your studies, focus on your academics, engage with various perspectives, and stay attuned to societal trends.
Gradually, this will help shape your own thoughts.
This is my current advice for your reference.
Wishing you all the best.
Sincerely, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2015/08/05

More Info


Navigating career choices, especially during the formative years of high school, can be a challenging experience, particularly when family expectations and personal aspirations collide. Your situation reflects a common dilemma faced by many students: the struggle between pursuing one's passion and adhering to parental expectations. It’s important to recognize that this conflict can lead to significant stress and anxiety, which can impact your mental health.

Firstly, it’s commendable that you have identified your interests in becoming a police officer or a pharmacist, and later, an airline attendant. These aspirations indicate a desire to contribute to society in meaningful ways. However, the pressure from your family to pursue a career in business, which does not align with your interests, can create feelings of frustration and helplessness. This is a critical moment in your life where you must weigh your options carefully.

One approach to addressing this situation is to engage in open and honest communication with your family. It may be beneficial to express your feelings and aspirations clearly. You could start by sharing your passion for the careers you are interested in and explaining why they resonate with you. Highlight the importance of job satisfaction and personal fulfillment in a career, which can lead to a more successful and happy life. You might say something like, "I understand that you want what’s best for me, but I believe that pursuing a career I am passionate about will ultimately lead to my success and happiness."
Additionally, it may help to provide your family with information about the career paths you are considering. For instance, you could research the job outlook, salary potential, and educational requirements for being a police officer or pharmacist. Presenting this information can help alleviate their concerns about job security and financial stability. It’s also essential to acknowledge their worries and show that you understand their perspective, which can foster a more constructive dialogue.

If your family remains resistant, consider seeking support from a school counselor or a trusted teacher. They can provide guidance and may even facilitate a conversation between you and your family. Sometimes, hearing advice from a neutral third party can help parents see things from a different perspective.

Moreover, it’s crucial to prioritize your mental health during this time. The pressure to conform to family expectations can lead to anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. Engaging in self-care practices, such as mindfulness, exercise, or hobbies you enjoy, can help alleviate some of this stress. If you find that your emotional struggles are becoming overwhelming, it may be beneficial to speak with a mental health professional who can provide support and coping strategies.

Lastly, remember that your career path is not set in stone. Many people change careers multiple times throughout their lives. The skills and experiences you gain in any job can be transferable to other fields. Therefore, while it’s important to consider your family’s opinions, ultimately, you are the one who will live with the consequences of your career choices. Trust yourself to make the right decision for your future.

In conclusion, navigating career choices amidst family expectations is undoubtedly challenging. Open communication, research, seeking support, and prioritizing your mental health are all vital steps in this process. Remember, it’s your life, and you have the right to pursue a path that aligns with your passions and interests.

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