Overcoming Social Anxiety: Tips for Highly Sensitive Individuals

Highly sensitive and lacking confidence?

I seem to be an introverted and highly sensitive person who tends to remain silent in the presence of authority.
However, I am currently facing a dilemma where I feel increasingly unsure about how to speak in social situations, as if I've forgotten how to communicate.
It might be because I care too much about how others perceive what I say, which makes me afraid to express my true feelings.
Over time, it seems I've internalized a message that I am not good at speaking.
Is there a way to adjust or change this mindset? Because now I constantly feel anxious—at work, even when I have completed all my tasks, I find it hard to relax and end up paying attention to what others are doing or saying.
Even though I should be able to enjoy my time if I’ve done my job well, I still feel apprehensive.
My entire body feels tense and unable to relax, which is the most troubling part.
It seems like my mind struggles to adapt flexibly.
How can highly sensitive individuals like myself find ease in 2016? Thank you.

linghun, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/01/16

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, it is common to feel nervous in social situations and hesitate to express opinions, especially in our Eastern culture.
Of course, being introverted and the reminders from adults during our childhood have made us more reserved about self-disclosure.
If this develops into social anxiety, it can be quite distressing.
My suggestion is not to blame yourself in the moment and to avoid overthinking how you should act, as this can be counterproductive.
Instead, try to shift your focus away from yourself.
In such situations, we tend to overly scrutinize our own actions, which can increase our anxiety.
From my experience, these compulsive thoughts are not easy to redirect, so you can practice focusing on diaphragmatic breathing or on the events happening around you, fully engaging in activities outside of yourself.
Additionally, some people may have the thought that others might criticize or mock them.
This presumption of others being unfriendly or even hostile must be countered by actively caring for and helping others, which will gradually alleviate such thoughts over time.
Wishing you all the best.
Sincerely, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2016/01/16

More Info

Overcoming social anxiety, especially for highly sensitive individuals, can be a challenging journey, but it is certainly achievable with the right strategies and mindset. As someone who identifies as both introverted and highly sensitive, you may find that social situations can feel overwhelming, leading to feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. Here are some tips that may help you navigate these challenges more effectively:
1. Understanding Sensitivity: Recognize that being highly sensitive is a trait, not a flaw. Many highly sensitive individuals experience the world more intensely, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed in social situations. Accepting this aspect of yourself can be the first step toward managing your anxiety.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Techniques: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a powerful tool for addressing social anxiety. It focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. Start by keeping a journal where you can write down your anxious thoughts when they arise. Analyze these thoughts critically—are they based on facts or assumptions? This practice can help you reframe your thinking and reduce anxiety.

3. Gradual Exposure: Gradually exposing yourself to social situations can help desensitize your anxiety. Start with smaller, less intimidating gatherings where you feel more comfortable. As you gain confidence, gradually increase the size and complexity of the social situations you engage in.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help you manage anxiety in the moment. These techniques can ground you and help you focus on the present rather than worrying about how others perceive you.

5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone has moments of insecurity and that it’s okay to feel anxious. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling anxious or for not speaking up, practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that it’s a common experience and that you are not alone.

6. Reframe Your Thoughts About Social Interactions: Shift your focus from worrying about how others perceive you to being genuinely interested in others. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively. This can take the pressure off you and make conversations feel more natural.

7. Seek Professional Help: If your anxiety feels unmanageable, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tailored strategies and support to work through your anxiety. A therapist can also help you explore any underlying issues that may contribute to your anxiety.

8. Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly validating. Look for support groups for individuals with social anxiety or highly sensitive people. Sharing your experiences and hearing others’ can provide comfort and practical advice.

9. Set Realistic Goals: Set small, achievable goals for yourself in social situations. For example, aim to speak up once during a meeting or engage in a brief conversation with a colleague. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, as this can build your confidence over time.

10. Limit Information Overload: As a highly sensitive person, you may be more affected by external stimuli. Try to limit your exposure to overwhelming environments or situations. If you know a social event will be particularly stimulating, prepare yourself mentally and take breaks when needed.

In conclusion, overcoming social anxiety as a highly sensitive individual involves a combination of self-acceptance, cognitive restructuring, gradual exposure, and possibly professional support. Remember that progress takes time, and it’s okay to take small steps. By implementing these strategies, you can work towards feeling more comfortable and confident in social situations, allowing you to express yourself more freely and enjoy your interactions with others.

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