Navigating Unrequited Love: A Journey in Rehabilitation and Self-Discovery

Ah! It should also be considered a form of rehabilitation—psychological rehabilitation?

Hello Director Hsu: I was very touched by your last sentence, "Welcome to the rehabilitation team," when I consulted you last time.
In fact, I am facing a dilemma: I want to become a physical therapist because I have developed feelings for a physical therapist! My desire to pursue this career is primarily to be closer to her.
I admit she is indeed beautiful; initially, I thought I liked her just for her looks, but later I tried to clarify my feelings for her.
I seemed to be close to succeeding, but in the end, I couldn't find a reason to stop liking her! I was originally an assistant in the rehabilitation room, and to forget her, I requested a transfer to another department.
She is two years older than me, very lively, and in my eyes, she is a strong woman.
It is precisely because she is a strong woman that I feel somewhat intimidated.
Sometimes when she gets angry, she can be quite fierce (though this is rare), and I admire her for being genuine and not pretentious.
At that time, whether I was still in the rehabilitation room or in another department, there was always an awkward atmosphere when we encountered each other.
She knows I like her, but I am unsure if she likes me back.
I once called her to confess my feelings; after saying, "I like you," I hung up without saying anything else because I am a very introverted person.
I also didn't want to hear if she had a boyfriend or any other words, as I feared rejection.
With her looks, I imagine there must be many people lining up to pursue her! Since I confessed to her over the phone, she hasn't called me, and I suspect I won't be able to win her over, but it's hard to let go.
Every day, my mood is affected by her, and I want to clarify things with her, but I am afraid to face the unknown reality.

Xiao Jie, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/04/25

Dr. Xu Zhenrong reply Rehabilitation

Mr.
Xiao Jie, this is not a question I should be answering, as it is not my area of expertise.
However, after some consideration, I will attempt to respond.
The development of feelings between individuals typically begins with initial attraction and admiration, progressing to a stage of liking each other.
Through further contact and understanding (which can be one-sided), one may experience the feeling of falling in love, which is the sweetest sensation.
Transitioning from falling in love to loving each other requires close, frequent, and intimate interactions, including communication about mental, emotional, physiological preferences, and lifestyle patterns.
Ultimately, this leads to the marriage stage, which involves social and legal aspects.
The couple, after various tests and considerations, decides to live together for a lifetime.
They then marry in a public ceremony, blessed by others, supporting and caring for each other, and hoping to create a life together.
It seems you have developed strong feelings, perhaps even fallen in love, but you are afraid of being hurt.
Why not adopt a generous attitude and face the woman's reactions positively? Most people go through multiple trials before reaching the marriage stage, don’t you think? You can be more than just romantic partners; you can also be good friends.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2003/04/25

More Info

Navigating unrequited love can be a challenging and emotionally taxing experience, especially when it intertwines with personal aspirations and self-discovery. Your situation reflects a common struggle where feelings for someone can lead to confusion about one's own identity and goals. It’s commendable that you are seeking to understand your emotions and the motivations behind your desire to become a physical therapist.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that feelings of attraction can often be complex. Initially, you may have been drawn to her physical appearance, but as you spent more time observing her, you began to appreciate her personality traits and professional demeanor. This admiration can sometimes morph into a deeper emotional attachment, making it difficult to separate your aspirations from your feelings for her. It’s not uncommon for individuals to develop a desire to pursue a career in a field where someone they admire works, as it provides a sense of closeness and connection.

Your decision to transfer to another department in an attempt to forget her is a natural response to unrequited love. However, it’s crucial to recognize that running away from your feelings may not be the most effective solution. Instead, consider embracing your emotions as part of your journey toward self-discovery. Reflect on what specifically draws you to her—beyond her looks—such as her strength, independence, or the way she carries herself in her profession. These qualities can serve as inspiration for your own personal growth.

The fear of rejection is a significant barrier that many people face when it comes to expressing their feelings. It’s understandable that you would want to avoid the potential pain of hearing that she does not reciprocate your feelings. However, it’s also essential to consider that not expressing your feelings can lead to prolonged emotional distress. If you feel comfortable, you might consider finding a way to communicate your feelings more openly, perhaps in a less direct manner. This could involve engaging in casual conversations to gauge her interest or simply getting to know her better as a friend.

In terms of your career aspirations, pursuing a path in physical therapy can be incredibly fulfilling, especially if you have a genuine interest in helping others heal and improve their quality of life. It’s important to ensure that your motivation to become a physical therapist is rooted in your passion for the field rather than solely as a means to connect with her. This way, even if your feelings for her do not develop into a relationship, you will still have a rewarding career that brings you satisfaction and purpose.

Additionally, consider seeking support from friends, family, or even a counselor. Talking about your feelings can provide clarity and help you process your emotions in a healthy way. Engaging in activities that you enjoy or exploring new hobbies can also serve as a distraction and help you build a more fulfilling life outside of your feelings for her.

In conclusion, navigating unrequited love is a journey that can lead to significant personal growth. Embrace your feelings, reflect on what you admire in her, and ensure that your career aspirations align with your genuine interests. Remember that it’s okay to seek support and take your time in processing your emotions. Ultimately, this experience can contribute to a deeper understanding of yourself and what you truly want in life.

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